Robb Stark wins another battle against the Lannisters on “Game of Thrones,” thanks to his tactic of sending an army of direwolves to ravage them in the night. This results in King Joffrey threatening Sansa with a crossbow, because he’s a nasty piece of work. Tyrion yells at him and even tries sending him a couple of prostitutes, but what’s wrong with Joffrey can’t be fixed with a just getting laid. So he has one of his ladies torture the other one so he can show Tyrion how sadistic he is. Great!
Out at Renly’s encampment, Littlefinger would like to propose a deal in which he secretly opens the gates of King’s Landing for Renly’s army in return for Renly not killing him when he becomes king. And maybe keeping Littlefinger on the Small Council, if he’s feeling generous. While he’s there, he also drops hints at Margaery about how everyone knows that Renly’s more interested in Ser Loras. He also drops by Catelyn Stark’s tent to offer to trade Arya and Sansa Stark for Jaime Lannister. This is kind of an empty promise, but she doesn’t know they lost Arya. Catelyn doesn’t want to make the deal, since it’s not what Robb wants. But Littlefinger brought along a little something to sweeten the deal: the remains of Ned Stark. In a box. She looked quite overcome when she got it, but that might have been the smell.
Out in the Red Waste, Daenerys finds out that there’s a city to the east. She and her khalasar (which is somewhat generously described as “a Dothraki horde”) rush out there to find a rude welcome. They get in without Daenerys having to show off her baby dragons, which undoubtedly made the CGI people quite relieved.
Arya and the Night’s Watch Recruits have been dragged to Harrenhal, where the prisoners are being interrogated to death by someone with a bucket of rats. Just before Gendry gets killed, Tywin Lannister rides up and calls a halt to the prisoner-killing. He also spots that Arya is really a girl and claims her as a cupbearer.
Finally, Stannis and Renly meet in person before throwing their armies at each other. But Stannis has a secret plan. Davos and the weird priestess Melisandre row into a secluded cove so they can creep into a tunnel. Then Melisandre strips down and gives birth to something made out of smoke. I’ll be honest: it’s pretty weird.