On “Survivor: One World,” we’re down to an all-female Final 5 for the first time in the show’s history. Well done, ladies. Hat tip to you all for playing a pretty gosh darn good game.
But just for the record – Kim deserves to win this in a unanimous vote, so hopefully that’s how it goes down.
It’s rather hilarious how Alicia/Christina and Chelsea/Sabrina still think they are good to go with Kim for a Top 3. They just have no idea and nobody has realized that Kim is a huge threat to win the money. We aren’t rooting for anyone to take her out, but it is kind of mystifying that nobody talks about it.
Kim talks dirty with Sabrina about Chelsea going home and Sabrina seems pretty surprised at this prospect. But she does acknowledge Christina is a huge coup to have sitting next to you at Top 3. It’s so interesting that Alicia talking-heads about how she has no chance to win the money if Chelsea is sitting next to her, but she doesn’t think that about Kim. Seems weird.
It’s untying knots, then a balance beam maze, rope net, puzzle piece bags, a giant puzzle that gives clues, then racing up a huge apparatus to solve a combination lock from the clues. Wow, that is a monster challenge.
Going into the puzzle, Chelsea has the lead but it’s not massive. Everybody’s in it, but the puzzle kind of separates them out – Kim, Chelsea and Alicia racing it out for the combination lock. After some miscounting, Kim pulls it out.
Chelsea thinks Kim/Chels/Sab take out Alicia, while Alicia/Christina think Chelsea needs to go. Chelsea lays it on Kim about how much they’ve had each other’s backs and how they’re friends now and how even though Kim thinks she could win it, she wants to take Chelsea to the finals. Yikes.
And then – Chelsea knows Kim has the Idol and wants her to play it for Chelsea. Oh wow. Well, here it comes. Kim has a big decision to make. Will Chelsea understand and still vote for her to win if she gets rid of her? Will Chelsea even get votes to win if Kim keeps her? I’m not as convinced as Kim is that Chelsea is a threat to win.
Kim then tells Alicia/Christina that it’s Chelsea, while Chels/Sab think it’s Alicia. And Kim just has to make a choice.
Not much happens during Jeff’s questioning until loyalty comes up, as b-word Kat shakes her head like a brat. Her jury question ought to be fun. But Jeff pounces on loyalty and how this should be easy – take who you can beat. But it’s not that simple for Kim. Ooof, it should be. If Chelsea is your real friend, she’ll get over it and realize you beat her and hats off to you. This is for a million dollars, lady.
Chelsea then pipes up by saying that tonight’s vote will either gain or lose respect for Kim with the jury. Interesting.
During the vote, we see Chels vote Alicia and vice versa. Kim doesn’t play her Idol for Chelsea, so we’re curious what that conversation went like – how Kim got out of using it for her. The votes obviously go two Chelsea, two Alicia and then … Alicia is going home! Wow. That actually surprised me.
Kat continues to be a brat over on the jury. I know you’re all shocked by this development.
Alicia’s exit speech is totally classy, as far as Kim is concerned, which is refreshing. She’s still a little bitter about bringing Christina along, but Alicia probably doesn’t have to worry too much about Christina winning anything.
Christina thinks she has to “convince” the girls she is a good person to take to the finals. Um, they are like five steps ahead you, sweetheart. You seem really nice, but you’re a little slow and you’re not a strategist.
There’s some rather hilarious music as Christina goes to retrieve Tree Mail, like she’s about to be killed by some jungle maniac wielding a machete. Seriously, that was weird, right?
Fallen Comrade Walk
I don’t recap this, it’s dumb. They aren’t dead.
They are maneuvering bowls through a wobbly metal structure, then stacking them on it. First person to get all 10 bowls to stay stacked wins. Interesting. We kind of prefer the old-school time-based ones, like stand on this pole for 14 hours or whatever happened that one season with Ian and Silver Fox Fireman.
Kim and Christina are neck-and-neck in the challenge, placing their eighth bowls at nearly the same time. Chels is just behind at seven, and Sabrina is way out of it. The wind is blowing their towers a little and Kim takes a lead as Christina hesitates on her ninth bowl. And it lets Kim win Immunity. Wow.
Seriously, can anyone justify NOT voting for her? She has not only strategically rocked the game, but she has put her money where her mouth is on Immunity challenges.
Christina just wants to know, she doesn’t want a blindside, so Kim just tells her it’s her going home. Christina just kind of seems to accept that, which – that’s just another reason she should never win. She’s like a cancer patient who just wants to stop treatment and enjoy her final days. Which is fine when you’re dying of cancer, but c’mon, girl. Make your case! You’ve got a good one.
This actually raises Kim’s red flag as much as it does ours – this is just another example of why she can’t win. But Kim talking about “making the best decision” is probably a lot of talk. She’s going to take Sabrina and Chelsea, I think. And that probably won’t make any difference – as I said, how can you not vote for Kim to win? She owned this game right in the face.
Jeff wants to know what’s going on and Christina says she’s going home. He wonders why she didn’t fight at all and she really has nothing to say. She rolled over and died, just like Jeff says.
So, not a lot of suspense. Christina goes home three votes to one. Bye. You seem sweet.
Sabrina is very emotional about making it to the end, it’s very moving. She’s got a great argument to win on the emotional votes. She might be a toughie for Kim if the jury is feeling emotional and bitter (coughKatcough). Even I want to give her the money after this little sunrise speech, though Kim should still win because she deserves to.
The ladies get their feast and Kim cracks about how she has no boobs left. Aww. Between that and her mustache, we expect her to look quite differently at the live reunion. (Sorry, it’s nothing personal, but y’all know what we’re talking about in re: Kim).
Final Tribal A Very Special Tribal
Chelsea’s big argument in her favor is that she played in tandem with Kim. Not a great argument – that’s pretty coattail-y. Kim’s argument is that she strategically rocked it, which is the right way to play it. Sabrina’s argument is that she went middle of the road, not winning challenges and not playing messenger (read: doing the dirty work). Choosing not to step up. Hmmm. That’s bullcrap. She then pulls out her inner city kids teaching job and getting laid off. Wow.
Big guns from Sabrina and that’s a great strategy, though I personally hope the jury doesn’t fall for it because that’s really kind of crap.
Jonas’ question is hilarious, he’s a sweetheart. Very inconsequential. Christina is much the same way – she asks Chelsea why she hates people, haha. Jay also is very sweet to them. Mike wants to know if Kim perfected the art of a blindside and then says she missed the boat by taking all the blam
e for the blindsides. He wonders whether that was smart or stupid of her. Hmm. Weird question. I think it’s smart – take the credit for what you did and hope everybody realizes you deserve the money.
Tarzan rather sweetly just thanks them all for letting his wife come to the island to see him. And Chelsea then says his marriage opened her eyes up to what she wants in a partner. This is like the sweetest Tribal Council ever, y’all. This is insanity.
Leif still seems a little bit mad about being voted out, but not that mad. Sabrina keeps trying to spin it that she wasn’t the messenger, Kim was the messenger, It’s pretty mealy-mouthed.
Alicia needs to spend her time congratulating herself on being a kingpin and how big a threat she was. Whatever you need to tell yourself, lady. Troyzan compliments Kim for playing a great game, then asks her to tell him the moment that she made the move to demolish his chances of winning. She says it was the moment she took Jonas out.
Now Kat. She’s upset. Her feelings got hurt. Oh, boo freakin’ hoo. And then her entire question is about the two open-heart surgeries she had when she was 12 and how if she wants to have kids, she has to have another one in 12 years, which means next year, as she’s 22. So there’s that stellar intellect we’ve seen all along from her.
She goes on to say she hid that from them so she didn’t seem weak. She THEN gets all cry-faced about telling everyone to live every moment and don’t base your decision on anger because she doesn’t have time to be angry. Um, what?!
WTF was that? It’s not that we wanted to see Kat be a brat, but that was freaking weird. And why was everybody crying? That wasn’t sad. Big fat eye roll.
During the vote, we only see Troyzan vote for Sabrina. Wow, really, dude? You think Sabrina was the best player? You are a Bitter Betty, Troyzan. Kat has the wherewithal to vote for Kim and say that she’s upset with Kim, but if she didn’t vote for her, she didn’t learn a damn thing out there, so at least there’s that.
Kim definitely looks better with some meat on her bones. And Chelsea is a stunner.
The votes go Kim, Sabrina, Kim, Sabrina, (um what?), Kim, Kim and Kim. Well, thank God. But seriously, who the hell voted for Sabrina in addition to Troyzan? Are you kidding?! (We find out it was Leif – not a huge surprise, I suppose. He seemed pretty bitter too.)
So there you have it – honestly, a really boring final Tribal, but Kim played one of the strongest games this show has ever seen. I’ll be back in a new post to touch on the reunion show.
What do you think, “Survivor” fans? Did the right player win?