We’re LIIIIIIIIVE this week! So exciting! Not really. I mean, I assumed we were basically live to tape in the other weeks, because if someone totally screwed up, I assume they would keep it to add interest. For the five people who are watching this show, including me and Alan Thicke. Hey, Alan! What’s shaking?
Robin Thicke is ruining one of my favorite songs. It’s “Freedom” by George Michael. Kelly looks amazing though. She dyed her hair blonde and it looks fantastic. I wish this could be a duet between Kelly and John Legend. Let Robin and Jennifer go sit down. Also, Robin just flubbed a line. Good one, dude. I love how Kelly sings along with the chorus off-mike when she’s not supposed to be singing. Wait, did I mention that Robin is dressed like George Michael? Because they have the same hairstyle? Or, Robin has the hairstyle that George had in the ’90s, when this song came out? Remember this video? Where he blew up the jukebox from the “Faith” video? Or was this the one with the lip-syncing models? Sigh. I miss awesome videos. I saw the end of a video today while watching my DVR recording of the Laguna Beach marathon (which is “retro” and I am old) and it was a hot mess. Blech. Anyway. The show is starting.
Quddus introduces the judges and reminds us (or announces, depending on how much you read gossip blogs) that Jennifer is having a baby. She’s also the only star with two partners left. John explains that he got to go home on a break and got to visit the shop that he and his wife own. Wife? WIFE? (?!?) (!!!!) (?!!!?) Am I the only one surprised that he has a female wife? Although they didn’t show her on camera, so maybe it’s a euphemism? I am shocked. I need to see evidence of this so-called wife. Anyway, Jennifer and John are going to sing a Josh Groban song because of course they are.
Y’all, there are chandeliers on the stage. Gross. They sing in their usual overwrought, smug way. I mean, it sounds great. I just hate everything about their song choices and their arrangements and their stage movements. But their voices sound great together. I just can’t see anyone under the age of fifty getting into a recording that John produces, if what we’ve seen is indicative of his style. That said, I think America will love him and he will get a ton of votes.