Blood was spilled, spit was swapped and a major bombshell was dropped about the death of Sookie’s parents.
Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Alcide finally hooked up! The besotted werewolf might not have scored a home run, but they did make out. Unfortunately, (1) Joe Manganiello didn’t take off his shirt; (2) both of Sookie’s spurned lovers, Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgard), witnessed their smooch session; and (3) because the frisky fairy was drunk, she’s going to wake up with a hella hangover and a bitter taste of regret (flavored with Tara’s marzipan cocktails). If so, the last remedy she’ll seek is the hair of the dog — or wolf.
So why is Sookie so sloshed? We blame Tara (Rutina Wesley), who unfortunately survived her latest suicide attempt. Did anyone really think Tara would tan herself to a true death? Maker Pam saves her baby girl from those lethal ultraviolet death rays and commands her to stop trying to take her life. Just as Pam is settling into motherhood, her own maker, Eric, betrays her. After he accuses her of freeing Russell, a remorseful Eric finally agrees to release the bond tying him and Pam together. Breaking up is hard to do!
Tara’s blood continues to boil — figuratively. She’s not happy that she took a bullet for Sookie only to be resurrected as a vampire. Even Lafayette is peeved, christening the bubbly blonde corpse magnet the Angel of Death. His inner demon is especially peeved and curses Sookie’s car, which almost kills her.
In another car, Terry and Patrick take a drive down PTSD lane, scenery courtesy of Terry’s flashbacks to his psychotic squadmate gunning down innocent civilians in the Iraq War. They find the missing Marine in a hidey-hole stocked with weapons.
Meanwhile, Bill and Eric embark on their own mission to find a psychotic killer, Russell Edgington — monitored by the mind-numblingly dull Authority Chancellors. Roman (Christopher Meloni) does us a solid and smotes the priggish kid with the Judas tip for posting vampire snuff films on his YouTube channel. Is it too much to hope that the Laura Bush look-alike is next?
Before she found comfort in Southern Comfort and Alcide, Sookie confesses to her bro that she killed Debbie Pelt and tells Jason and Jessica that Tara is now a vampire. Jessica glamours Andy so he’ll forget his suspicions and drop his investigation into Debbie’s disappearance.
Besides, Andy might have a new crime to investigate: the deaths of Sam’s shapeshifter running buddies, whom the barkeep found violently murdered. Is Lafayette going to start calling him an Angel of Death too?
Crime solving will have to wait, though: Judge Clements has taken Andy and Jason out to score some fairy tail at an invite-only burlesque party. Only the judge gets lucky; Jason is startled to see his cousin Hadley working at the club — a “fairy safehouse” where she’s been hiding out to protect her telepathic son from the vampires. (Good thing, too, considering what Bill has in store for Sookie.)
Hadley and Jason’s wasn’t the happiest of family reunions, though — his chatty cousin shared a terrible secret about Jason’s parents: They were killed by vampires — not in a flood, as he and Sookie have believed all their lives.
Maybe Sookie will stick with werewolves after all?
“I’m the dog in this analogy. I ain’t tired of looking for a rat because I know something’s fishy.” — Andy to Jason about “calling off the dogs” in the Pelt case
“Three days old and she already has an eating disorder.” — Pam on Tara’s refusal to feed