Hoo! Okay, Emily spends the entire episode watching Maya’s website videos and it’s pretty sad, but since everybody is now fully on track for finding justice for Maya — which apparently we will, by the end of the month — it feels a little less draggy and Emily Stasis than usual. Plus now you got date-rapey party-crashy girl-drowny bike-spinny Walking Calamity Paige McCullers up your shirt, drama will most certainly follow of some kind or another.
Ashley’s working out her virgin/whore dichotomy with the help of Ted, which is a pleasant surprise. I guess Ella scared him into realizing that Ashley is his only option if he wants to eat ice cream his way. Hanna gets a message from A about Caleb that is clearly from Caleb, runs to save Caleb from Caleb, and ends up getting a big ol’ smooch about it. They discuss whether or not Caleb is actually ready for A’s jelly, and after declaring several times that he is, he gets the main thing from Hanna about how A tried to kill his mom. More smooching.
Ezra’s little brother Wesley shows up, pissed that Ezra sold his Jaguar to pay for Ezria Love Raman, and then after the wonderful party about which I am about to tell you, he shows up to drive Aria home in Ezra’s place and tells her about this one hilarious time when Ezra knocked a girl up and Diane paid her off to skedaddle. One hopes that the story does not end there, and in fact Diane is still keeping the girl in a farmhouse somewhere, or that at least she’s paid a similar sum to Jackie Morales to never come back to Rosewood or this show. Anyway, Aria is very funny when you let her be and this episode is no exception, Wesley is a cutie, and Ezra’s evil one-percenter East Coast dynastic aristocratic problem family’s still maybe the best thing this show’s got going on.