“Revenge” made the move from Wednesdays to Sundays this season on ABC, and if you ask us, it’s finally right where it belongs. The sumptuous, scandalous, seductive show pairs perfectly with our oh-no-Monday-is-coming-why-is-Monday-coming glass of red wine.
This week’s season premiere started the summer off slowly, reintroducing us to our favorite characters a few months after we saw them last and easing us into what’s sure to be another twisty season. Here are the five watercooler moments we can’t wait to discuss.
1. Victoria is alive! Okay, this was pretty obvious, given the fact that Madeleine Stowe is one of the show’s biggest stars, and this isn’t “Game of Thrones.” Still, the reveal played out beautifully, with Emily the first character to come face-to-face with the ice queen. We spent the summer churning over ideas about how she might survive the crash — would she need physical therapy? Did she stage the event herself? Now, we’ve got those answers, and many more questions, as it was revealed that she’s teamed up with the white-haired man. It appears that the white-haired man hasn’t yet told Victoria who Emily really is, but Victoria’s out to “eliminate the liability” regardless.
2. Conrad is conspiring against his own daughter. Last season, Charlotte was petulant and barely tolerable as she angsted about her parental issues (okay, fair enough, they were pretty heavy) and sank further into addiction. Now, she’s actually a bright spot on the show, having presumably gotten sober and gained enough awareness to give a refreshingly insightful speech at her mother’s memorial. Unfortunately, her “dad” is after her inheritance from Victoria’s “death” — this family requires a lot of quotation marks. We’ve got reason to believe he falsified her drug test to keep her locked up in rehab. Even Daniel doesn’t believe her.
3. Jack is miserable. We were a little nervous that Jack would welcome Fauxmanda back into his life with open arms now that she’s pregnant with his child, but it looks like Emily got too far under his skin last season for him to give up on her so easily. He’s still totally hung up on Emily and faking his way through an obligatory romance with Amanda and their baby. When Emily suggests that the paternity may be questionable, he looks downright hopeful.
4. Daniel and Ashley and Emily form the world’s most lopsided love triangle. When Emily showed up at Victoria’s memorial wearing the sauciest red dress we’ve ever seen and looking hotter than ever, she was definitely at her best — especially when she was the bigger person and practically gave Daniel and Ashley her blessing. (For the record, the couple gives us a very icky feeling. What’s the opposite of ‘shipping it?) She definitely came off looking spectacular as she reached out to Ashley and offered Daniel her condolences. Daniel, on the other hand, looked like a jealous, bitter child clutching a participation trophy. (Ashley is the trophy. In case that wasn’t clear.)
5. Who is going to die? In the first few moments of the episode, they showed the wreckage of the Amanda, with divers discovering a body under the water. Our first assumption was that it might be Jack — after all, it’s his boat. That said, last season they pulled a fast one on us, which led to a rather anticlimactic bait-and-switch when we thought Daniel was going to die and it turned out to be Tyler. If they pull the same trick on us this year… we’re officially over it. In the premiere, Declan was sent to go live on the boat to get out of Amanda’s hair — could he be this season’s sacrifice?
You know we’ve just seen a solid episode of television when the hot new love interest (or, in this case, former love interest with some serious potential to reignite) doesn’t even make our Top 5! Aiden and Emily’s sexual tension on the beach did not go unnoticed, but as he’s set to recur, we’ve got plenty of time to explore that story.
Take it to the comments, fans! Let us know what you loved and what didn’t work for you.