“The Real Housewives of Atlanta” got off to a slow start last week, but after the season’s second episode (Nov. 11), we’re expecting plenty of catfights ahead. Here’s a sampling of their best wisecracks:
NeNe is shockingly the most diplomatic Housewife so far this season, but she delivered plenty of one-liners while representing “The New Normal” in the L.A. Pride Parade (where she was joined by her 13-year-old son Brentt).
“As a parent you tell your kids don’t have sex and don’t do drugs, but do you tell them not to wear hot pants?”
“I love the gays. You know they invented everything: nail polish and weaves and earrings and how to walk. Gays have invented it all. They’re half-man, half lady. You can’t beat that.”
“I definitely want to celebrate all my big moments with Greg [her husband, who greeted her afterward], and I was really happy to see a straight man at the end of the parade.”
The 1993 Miss USA winner has already proved she has the sharpest claws of this season’s cast, and she did plenty of scratching again this week.
“I felt like I was in the Wizard of Oz and she was the Scarecrow looking for a brain,” she told Kandi and Phaedra about Cynthia at the JET Beauty of the Week tryouts.
“Oh wow, Wal-Mart special, thank you!” Apparently Kenya is an equal-opportunity offender, as even her aunt, who graciously visited with a bouquet of flowers, doesn’t escape unscathed.
“Anybody who loves chocolate is a friend of mine.” OK, even though she’s upset her boyfriend, Walter, once asked out Kandi (who turned him down!), so far he’s safe from her slurs.
“Enough of that clown show, I know it’s Cynthia’s event,” she tells the crowd after stealing the mic from Cynthia at NeNe’s party — before incongruously adding, “I hope it inspires us to be kind and good to each other.”
“Of course, Kenya has a donkey booty — you know Phaedra’s going to have her eyes on it,” she said about introducing the two women.
*She’s hoping that long-distance boyfriend of two years, towing company owner Walter, is in it for the “long haul.”
“I think I’m living in a la-la land,” she tells her assistant, Sweetie, while procrastinating about finding a new place to live.
“I’m not used to living in a crammed space,” she protests about a temporary move to the townhouse she owns. “We need every part of 70,000 square foot.”
“Let me go [to the bathroom] and I’ll meet you outside,” Kim tells NeNe, before bailing, never to return.
“It’s winkin’ at ya, boy,” she tells a trainer at the gym while flexing her famous booty.
Explaining that she’s been terrified of dogs ever since suffering a bite in law school, she adds: “When they have passed on, I’m very comfortable with them.”
Cynthia has shied away from confrontation with the former pageant queen so far, but she did offer this zinger at the end of the show: “Kenya is a very attractive woman, but if you’re ugly on the inside, you’re ugly on the outside.”