If you’re ever wondered what happens after “happily ever after,” well, you’re in luck.
Jon Cozart, a.k.a. “Paint,” has uploaded a song called “After Ever After” to YouTube and we can see why it’s suddenly going viral.
Paint has four Disney princesses singing about their lives in the modern world — Ariel is dealing with pollution, Jasmine is troubled the war on terror, Pocahontas died of disease and Belle is being charged with counts of bestiality.
What do you think? Is it a hit? It’s climbing the iTunes comedy charts as we speak. Lyrics below.
If you’ve ever wondered why
Disney’s tales all end in lies
Here’s what happened after all their dreams came true
I loved being princess down in — this beautiful ocean blue
But mermaids are going missing — they end up in someone’s stew
So just try to put yourself in — to somebody else’s gills
You’re killing my ecosystem — with fishing and oil spills
Thank you BP, thank you BP
The British are killing, oil is spilling
Now I can’t see… MY EYES!
Chinamen feast on Flounder’s fins
Plus the Japanese killed all my whale friends
Oceans are browning, I think I’m drowning
Thanks to BP
Hey, I’m OK, but I’m slightly scared
My husband’s a mark for the War on Terror
Aladdin was taken by the CIA
We’re not Taliban
You’ve got the wrong man
In Guantanamo Bay
Prince Ali, where could he be, drowning in wawa
Interrogation from the nation of the “free”
Bin Laden’s taken the fall
We’re not trained pilots at all
Jafar went crazy and no one put up a fuss
We’re for freedom, Genie can vouch for us
Bush was crazy, Obama’s lazy, al-Qaeda’s not in this country
Set free my Prince Ali
A whore! A whore!
A whore, a whore, a whore!
This town’s gone wild since I married Adam
They think I’m going straight to hell
But the charges laid on me
Could wind up getting me thrown in a cell
No, I’m overrun by mad men
I hear they plan to burn me at the stake
They legit believe I’m Satan
And now I hear that PETA’s gonna take my beast away
After John Smith traveled back to England
I helped my people cultivate the fields
More English, French, and Spaniards came to visit
And they greeted us with guns and germs and steel
They forced us into unknown lands of exile
They pillaged, raped, and left us all for dead
So now I’m far more liberal with a weapon
When I separate their bodies from their heads
Have you ever held the entrails of an English guy?
Or bit the beating hearts of Spanish men?
Can you shoot an arrow in some French guy’s eyeball?
Can you paint with the red colors in these men
I can murder if I please
Cause I’m dying of disease
I can paint with the red colors in these men
Thanks to BP
Where’s Prince Ali?
I’ve got STDs