Thus, we present our list of celebrities not worth swatting, chosen at random and via a cursory look at unpopular TMZ articles.
Note: We do not condone swatting of any kind, nor do we mean to imply that the police should ignore calls — real or fake — to come and save these celebrities. So don’t get mad.
Howie Mandel: What would the call be? “Help! Someone has released a germ in Howie Mandel’s clean room!”
Camilla Belle: No matter how many famous guys she dates, Camilla Belle just isn’t any more interesting than any other B/C-list actress.
Michele Salahi: Considering this is a person whose reputation was made by trespassing, swatting would be redundant.
Rob Kardashian: No one has ever cared much about the boy Kardashian. Swatting is not the time to start.
Piers Morgan: Wouldn’t swatting the host just invite more of that annoying and un-entertaining gun debate stuff?
Jamie Lynn Spears: If you must swat, at least pick the more famous sibling.
Wesley Snipes: The poor guy just got out of prison! You wouldn’t have to swat him — just call a parole officer.
Dennis Rodman: He’s a big enough name to get attention, but don’t forget that this guy has friends in North Korea. They have missiles and stuff.
Carson Daly: Since we barely remember he has a late night talk show, we’re definitely not going to care about a prank.
Jeff Dunham: Seriously, we’re still trying to figure out why someone would make a death threat against a ventriloquist. Swatting would be beyond comprehension.
Anyone whose biggest claim to fame in recent memory is: “Splash,” being a member of a ’80s or ’90s boy band and not being Justin Timberlake, “Survivor,” “The Bachelor,” being someone’s baby mama, “The Real World,” “Big Brother,” etc.