The full-text of the purported suicide note left by Bollywood star Jiah Khan is seeing the light of day, thanks to news media in India. Jiah was found dead in her Juhu apartment June 3. One week later, her boyfriend Suraj Pancholi was arrested in Dubai on suspicion of abetting Jiah’s suicide.
In the letter found by Jiah’s mother, the 25-year-old beauty accuses Pancholi of physical abuse, cheating, and reportedly forcing her to have an abortion. Jiah also mentions a past history of rape, abuse and “torture,” but it is unclear whether she insinuates involvement by Pancholi.
The full txt of the pain-filled letter is available at India.com. Below are some heart-breaking excerpts:
“If you’re reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside.”“But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside.”“After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this.”“I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work.”“So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me.”“Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens to hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car.”“I have no confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my life.”“I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back.”“I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you.”
Khan’s mother was searching for poems written by her daughter for use in her funeral when the letter was discovered.