The Dude abides, and so does Jeff Bridges. The 63-year-old seems to have led a pretty happy life, and has remained married to one woman for 36 years. Those are no small feats for a successful working actor, but the advice Bridges has for people hoping for similar successes is somewhat surprising.
In an interview with GQ, Bridges discusses some of the keys to strong relationships he’s learned from being married to Susan Geston. When the subject of infidelity is brought up, he advises, “Well, live and learn. Go ahead and do it, and we’ll see how that goes.”
Seriously? That’s his advice? Apparently, it absolutely is.
“Suppression can kind of get you into trouble, too. I was reading an interesting thing — this kind of goes with the meditation and the spiritual side of things that I’m interested in. The difference between suppression and refraining. When you touch something hot, you don’t have to repress the desire to touch it again,” Bridges explains. “Sometimes you [have to touch it first]. It’s like that old thing about addiction, I guess. About people hitting their bottom.”
It’s unclear if Bridges went through a cheating problem in his own life, and he’s not one to talk about it. “I don’t even want to talk about it. I don’t want to make that a public thing. But I hit bottom,” he admits.
According to Bridges, all fights in marriages are over the same thing: “You don’t get it.”
“You don’t get it! What is, for me, being alive. And what you do to me. And the thing is: That’s true! I don’t know how you feel, what it is to be you. But that’s something to kind of celebrate and respect and honor! And that’s, that’s what we have in common,” he says. “None of us, none of us, get each other. So you have to just be with that. And have a relationship with it. And, uh, usually what happens, if you hang with it enough, your love has to get bigger to hold that misunderstanding, that mystery.”