What’s been going on: Heading into “Hell in a Cell,” Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels has been named referee in the WWE Championship match between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton. Stephanie McMahon also fired Big Show. That didn’t stop him from reappearing later in the night to punch out Triple H, though. At least he didn’t cry.
The big news: “WWE RAW” kicked off with Michaels coming out to talk about the “Hell in a Cell” main event. What’s weird is he calls himself “HBShizzle” again. That’s weird for many reasons. He’s technically saying H.B.S., if you decode the slang. Second of all, why is a Southern hunter saying things like shizzle?
He says that no matter what, there will be a WWE Champion at the end of “Hell in a Cell,” which is reassuring considering the last couple pay per views. That brings out Randy Orton, who tries to threaten and intimidate Shawn. Orton’s “intimidation” voice is way too forced, though, and just sounds sort of funny. That’s when Michaels throws out some more slang, saying, “Oh snap, I’m sorry. Were you talking? I wasn’t even listening.” Who is writing this?
Orton goes for an RKO, but Michaels shakes if off and looks for Sweet Chin Music. Of course, Randy bails from the ring. He wasn’t expecting The Miz to attack him from behind, though. Miz and Orton have the first match of the night and Miz gets a leg up on the competition with the attack.
He doesn’t get the win, though. The Wyatt Family appears and distracts him, letting Orton snag the win. That whole opening would have been great to promote a match between Michaels and Orton, but Daniel Bryan was an afterthought.
Triple H and Stephanie McMahon also continued their war against Big Show and the audience. They say they’re selling the giant’s house, repossessing everything he owns and are generally ruining his life. It’s bizarre that these company executives are wasting their time buying someone’s house just to sell it. It’s even more weird that Big Show signed it over to them. They’ve been horrible to him, he knows know better.
Then Triple H shifts into overdrive though, saying he essentially hates everything and would force anyone who crosses him or Stephanie to grovel at his feet. He says that’s especially true for people who chant “Yes,” which gets the audience going.
That brings out Daniel Bryan, who leads the crowd in the chant. It’s such a calm act of defiance. He’s eventually attacked from behind by Alberto Del Rio, before Stephanie tells him they have a match later.
Once the match rolls around, Bryan is in complete control until Randy Orton appears on the big screen to taunt him. Orton says he’s going after Bryan’s fiancee, WWE dive Brie Bella. Bryan dives out of the ring to run backstage and find her, giving Del Rio the count out victory.
Naturally, it was all a setup to Orton could attack Bryan. He doesn’t get in much pain before the referees pull him off. That’s the end of Bryan and Orton for the night. Those two need more to build up their match at “Hell in a Cell.”
Elsewhere, CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman continues on. Heyman asks “RAW” General Manager Brad Maddox to let him name the stipulation for Punk vs. Ryback at “Hell in a Cell.” Instead, Maddox sets up a Beat the Clock challenge. Ryback and Punk both get matches, whoever wins quickest gets to name the stipulation.
Ryback beats R-Truth fairly quickly, but Punk is able to get a win over Heyman’s other protege, Curtis Axel, even faster. Punk says he wants Ryback and Paul inside the cell in two-on-one match. This might be the final chapter in that feud. Punk and Heyman have been at odds since “Money in the Bank,” and ending things inside the cell seems like a good time to move both forward. Punk deserves to be back in the title picture.
The main event of the show found the Rhodes brothers getting another shot at The Shield, but this time with the Tag Team Championships on the line. Cody Rhodes and Goldust end up getting the win, and the titles, marking one of the first times The Shield had been made to look weak.
Of course, it took an interfering Big Show to make it happen. Instead of The Shield or the new tag team champions looking powerful, it’s a guy who is in a feud with a non-wrestler. Big Show punched out all three members of The Shield, allowing Cody to get the easy pin.
Then, the show ends with Big Show leading a “Yes” chant in from the crowd, which should anger Daniel Bryan, while Triple H throws a hissy fit in the ring. He really should have hired better security.
- Randy Orton beat The Miz
- Fandango beat Santino Marella
- Los Matadores beat 3MB
- Ryback beat R-Truth in 5:44 (Beat the Clock challenge)
- The Real Americans beat Tons of Funk
- Tamina Snuke beat Brie Bella
- CM Punk beat Curtis Axel in 5:33 (Beat the Clock challenge)
- Alberto Del Rio beat Daniel Bryan by count out
- Cody Rhodes and Goldust beat The Shield to win the WWE Tag Team Championships