As Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom‘s troubled marriage continues to crumble around them, the struggling basketball has demanded $10 million from his reality star wife to end their union and buy his silence on the alleged existence of a sex tape.
A source tells The National Enquirer (so, take that with a grain of salt), “Lamar is also prepared to destroy Khloe’s reputation by discussing their sex tape, and how she targeted him and tore his family apart.” He allegedly won’t sign any confidentiality agreement until he receives the money and the return of her $875,000 engagement ring. To that, we say: Khloe, pay up. There’s nothing we want to see less than this sex tape.
In fact, here are 8 things we’d rather watch than that mess:
1. A live stream of a spider spinning a web
It would somehow manage to be both boring and creepy, but certainly less boring and creepy than a taped tryst between these two.
2. A 24-hour “Dads” marathon
The Seth MacFarlane comedy may be the most reviled of the fall 2013 season, but a full day of it would be a lesser evil than a naked Lam-Lam.
3. A tree growing in real time
However many years it may take.
4. A continuous loop of Natalie Portman laughing at the 2011 Golden Globes
5. Courtney Stodden talking about, well, anything
We’re not kidding. Any topic.
6. An hour of Sarah McLachlan‘s ASPCA commercial
7. “Sex and the City 2”
8. A Kimye sex tape
Come on, you know it’s true.
What would you rather watch than a Khloe-Lamar sex tape? Just about anything, right?