“American Horror Story: Coven” looks to have set up a war of the witches for the last group of episodes this season — who ya got your money on?
Fiona and the Sacred Taking
Cordelia has had enough with hiding out and hoping Marie Laveau doesn’t get them, so she rallies the witches of her coven to start to fight back. They are aided by the arrival of one Misty Day, who is toting Myrtle with her.
It would seem a would-be assassin came creeping through the swamp, but Myrtle dusted herself off from her bog o’ resurrection and warned Misty in time. The two of them hid out until Hank (we all know it was Hank, right?) went away and they headed straight for the coven.
The six coven witches perform a ritual called the Sacred Taking, which they hope will cause Fiona to kill herself for the good of the coven — so a new, powerful, doesn’t-have-cancer Supreme witch can rise.
And it almost works. Fiona’s sickness combined with Madison and Myrtle appearing to her, acting like Madison is the Supreme who brought them both back (and showing her visions of her dying alone), is enough to push Fiona to take some sleeping pills, don her best Gloria Swanson get-up — “I am big! It’s the covens that got small!” — and lie down to die.
Until Spalding throws a wrench in the works. He’s a “watcher” and he shows up as a spirit to talk some sense into Fiona and get her to take something that induces vomiting, so she expels the sleeping pills and rejoins the living.
It’s not as though we want Fiona to die or that the show would not miss Jessica Lange. But that would’ve been a really bold move and we would’ve applauded the show for going there. However, with so many episodes left, that did seem a bit premature. The new Supreme rising seems more like a penultimate or finale episode event.
Still, this episode treaded a lot of water. We know there’s a war coming, get on with it already.
The Voodoo That You Do
Queenie has chosen a side (despite feeling sorry enough for Madame LaLaurie to bring her a burger), so Marie has her out trolling for dark hearts so she can use them in a potion. Zoe and Madison come upon Queenie carving up a crazed homeless man, but it’s OK because he’s a serial rapist.
They’re still pretty surprised that Queenie has gone over to the other side, though. Do you think Queenie comes back? Is Marie Laveau’s brand of magic too much for her to handle?
Back at the voodoo palace, LaLaurie is being held captive, drained of her blood for Marie’s poultice. But she can’t die, remember? Because of that, Marie can have all the fun she wants with Delphine, including sending her severed head to Fiona in a box.
Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition
Crazy Joan Ramsey is back, giving her son lye enemas and locking him up in the closet. She’s not exactly Alicia Spencer-level grossness (that’s Kyle’s mom, for those of you keeping score at home), but she’s definitely worse than Constance Langdon was with Addie.
Nan runs over to the Ramsey house because she can hear that Luke is being hurt. She rescues him from the closet where he’s tied up and they’re going to run away together. Joan tries to stop them and that’s when Hank shoots her dead and goes for Nan, but Luke takes the bullet protecting her. He gets rushed to the hospital.
And Joan isn’t dead after all — because Fiona wants to know just who this little swamp witch is who brought Madison and Myrtle back to life, so she makes Misty bring Joan back too. You can bet your butt Fiona’s going to be keeping Misty close at hand, since resurgence is not a very common gift.
Thoughts & Tidbits
- I loved seeing the sacred taking ritual, with the old cloaks and veils. I thought the show, being called “Coven” and being about witches, would have more of that, honestly. Hopefully in the last five episodes, the coven starts acting more as a unit and doing more things like that ritual.
- It was pretty delightful how proud Fiona was of Cordelia that she stepped up as a leader and united the coven against Marie, even if it meant trying to kill Fiona. That was a sweet and hilarious moment.
- The undead threesome gets a little screentime this week. Madison is delighted at her new sexy playmates, but Zoe just wants Kyle to learn to read and be able to communicate. He makes a giant leap forward when he pounds on a laptop for half a night and then tells her he loves her. But Madison overhears and she’s clearly upset and jealous. Do you think Madison kills Franken-Kyle out of spite?
- Best Lines (there were a lot this week):
Queenie: “Voodoo, witchcraft. This town ain’t big enough for the two of us. War is coming. And you’re gonna lose.”
Fiona: “I’m starting to look less Samantha and more Endora every day.”
Cordelia: “Do me a favor — die before Thanksgiving so none of us have to suffer through that mess of raisins and styrofoam you call stuffing.”
Nan: “How did your hair grow back so quick?”
Myrtle: “Oh, little bird. I’ve been buying in bulk from North Korea for years.”
Zoe: “Are you sure Misty’s the next Supreme?
Myrtle: “I’m certain of her credentials. She’s brought back more people from the dead than Jesus Christ.”
Madison: “Disappointed? You thought it was you, didn’t you?”
Zoe: “Well, I knew it wasn’t you because when Fiona cut your throat, you died.”
Fiona: “Some play it safe on the merry-go-round. Others go for the thrills on the roller coaster.”
Fiona: “I’ve always been rigorous about not staying too long at the party. Bad form. Know when it’s over. Look after my beautiful Delia, will you? My most terrible failure.”
Cordelia: “Now you’re proud? Hell, if I knew how easy it was to win your approval, I would’ve made an attempt on your life way before now.”
What did you think of “The Sacred Taking”?