As 2013 draws to a close and 2014 lay wide open before us, full of wondrous possibilities, we at Zap2it figure it’s time to proffer some predictions for the new year. So, without further ado:
TBS will prep a TV show called “Jimmy” in anticipation of Jay Leno changing his mind about leaving “The Tonight Show.”
Miley Cyrus will neither have a meltdown nor go to rehab (sorry, haters).
Justin Bieber will finally get arrested for something.
The world will go into Jennifer Lawrence overload thanks to her promotional tours for “Serena,” “X-Men: Days of Future Past” and “Mockingjay – Part 1.”
Desperate to keep “The X Factor” on the air, Simon Cowell will introduce the totally original purple rotating stools for the new “Ears Only” audition round.
Kanye West will keep his New Year’s resolution to stop “talking s***” for all of about two minutes.
Spinoffs of spinoff series will become all the rage.
Facing waning interest and sagging sales, one member of One Direction will come out of the closet (we’re looking at you, Louis).
Following the success of “The Sound of Music Live!” every network will try to mount their own live musical. FOX will burst the trend bubble when it announces plans for “Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark” with the tag line: “Will everyone make it out alive?”
“The Vampire Diaries” will kill off a main character (because, duh).
Hamsters will surpass cats as the internet’s favorite animal.
People will continue to die on “Downton Abbey.”
Robin Thicke and Paula Patton will realize their “flirty open agreement” is ridiculous and get divorced.
With “Anger Management” nearing the end of its 100-episode order, Charlie Sheen will publicly go bananas again. And someone will still hire him after that.
The series finale of “How I Met Your Mother” will be this year’s most divisive final episode.
Following their successful return to the Golden Globes, every awards show ever will try to get Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to host. (We can dream, right?)
David Letterman will have great fun watching the bout between the two Jimmys for their late-night demographic.
Harry Connick Jr.’s presence will help ensure the friendliest season of “American Idol” to date.
America will find out we’ve all been Catfished for years by Ke$ha, who (thankfully) doesn’t actually exist, but is really just an actress from Liechtenstein.
And just to get a wee bit ahead of the game — one prediction for 2015: Ben Affleck will prove the whole world wrong by becoming the best Batman ever.
What do you think of our predictions? If you have some of your own, share them with us in the comments section below.