Most shows weren’t back from hiatus this week, but the ones that were provided plenty of great quotes. Check out some of the best from “Community,” “Elementary” and more.


Holmes: “I have maintained a relationship with Moriarty, which in turns should make it easier to learn what Faux-riarty is up to.”
Watson: “‘Faux-riarty’?”
Holmes: “The man who pretended to be Moriarty. Do you have a better name for him?”

Holmes: “The woman is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma I have had sex with. I would be lying if I said I was the strongest assessor of her motives at this point.”

Moriarty: “Is that how you learned to be one of them? By learning to care how your actions seemed in the eyes of another?”


Britta: “That’s like me blaming owls for how much I suck at analogies.”

Jeff: “Guys like you should be scared — you trust-funded, body-sprayed, Eli Roth DVD owner. You’re an amateur monster, Alan. And you stomped on the grave of a real monster, who was willing to stay buried. Because real monsters have shame. Real monsters … You’re not worth the monologue. Give me your tie.”

Jeff: “In real life, the robot wins.”

Troy: “Nicolas Cage is so weird. I mean, he seems scared to smell that flower but happy to get shot?” – Troy

Shirley (on Nicolas Cage): “If I was in 70 films over 30 years and I spent each one talking at random volumes, I might accidentally win an Oscar.”

Jeff: “I may not love teaching. But I did fool around with it today. And I might hook up with it a few more times, even if I do dump it right before Christmas.”

“The Michael J. Fox Show”

Mike to Annie: “I never want to cheat on you with a cocktail waitress.”

“Good Morning America”

Dan Harris to visiting Brad Nitz, who was sent outside in the cold for NYC weather forecasts: “That’s how we roll.”

What were your favorite lines of the week?