urx unit loader 'Community,' 'Elementary' and more of the best lines of the week

Most shows weren’t back from hiatus this week, but the ones that were provided plenty of great quotes. Check out some of the best from “Community,” “Elementary” and more.


Holmes: “I have maintained a relationship with Moriarty, which in turns should make it easier to learn what Faux-riarty is up to.”
Watson: “‘Faux-riarty’?”
Holmes: “The man who pretended to be Moriarty. Do you have a better name for him?”

Holmes: “The woman is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma I have had sex with. I would be lying if I said I was the strongest assessor of her motives at this point.”

Moriarty: “Is that how you learned to be one of them? By learning to care how your actions seemed in the eyes of another?”


Britta: “That’s like me blaming owls for how much I suck at analogies.”

Jeff: “Guys like you should be scared — you trust-funded, body-sprayed, Eli Roth DVD owner. You’re an amateur monster, Alan. And you stomped on the grave of a real monster, who was willing to stay buried. Because real monsters have shame. Real monsters … You’re not worth the monologue. Give me your tie.”

Jeff: “In real life, the robot wins.”

Troy: “Nicolas Cage is so weird. I mean, he seems scared to smell that flower but happy to get shot?” – Troy

Shirley (on Nicolas Cage): “If I was in 70 films over 30 years and I spent each one talking at random volumes, I might accidentally win an Oscar.”

Jeff: “I may not love teaching. But I did fool around with it today. And I might hook up with it a few more times, even if I do dump it right before Christmas.”

“The Michael J. Fox Show”

Mike to Annie: “I never want to cheat on you with a cocktail waitress.”

“Good Morning America”

Dan Harris to visiting Brad Nitz, who was sent outside in the cold for NYC weather forecasts: “That’s how we roll.”

What were your favorite lines of the week?