Welcome to Season 5 of “Duck Dynasty,”
Robertson family fans. While the men from Louisiana have been in the news a lot over the last two months, there hasn’t been a new episode of “Duck Dynasty” since Halloween, besides the Christmas special.
We’re sure you’ve caught up on any episodes you missed since then, however, with the near constant marathons. And, in case you were wondering, Phil Robertson’s much-publicized suspension and subsequent reinstatement by A+E didn’t result in any “Phil-free” episodes since the show was on hiatus from filming during those issues.
So, on with the reality television show, as they say.
In tonight’s kick-off, we get a double shot of “Duck” — back-to-back new episodes, starting with “Boomerang Becca.”
We meet Rebecca Robertson
, adopted honorary daughter of Willie
and Korie Robertson
. She’s been in off interning in L.A. for two years, and she’s back in the other LA: Louisiana. And she’s staying for an undetermined amount of time without a job, which freaks Willie out. He confronts her about it and finds out she wants to start a business of her own: something right up Willie’s alley. While Willie and Rebecca catch up, the Robertson women and the warehouse gang decorate for Rebecca’s “welcome home” surprise party and Willie says, in the end, as family, they’ll be there for her no matter what.
Meanwhile, Uncle Si has some kind of flu (he’s already had the “dragon pox, Andromeda strain and the black breath”) and his wife has gone visiting friends, leaving him to fend for himself. Miss Kay, the dear heart, invites him to stay at over, against Phil’s better judgment. He says you can’t develop an immunity to “Si Crobes.” So in between hacking and moaning, Phil and Si argue over the merits of “Air Bud” while laying around the living room. Kay even gives Si a bell so she can nurse him back to health, but it isn’t long until she gets sick too. Darn “Si Crobes.”
Next, on “Willie’s Number Two,” Willie decides he needs an assistant, and Korie brings in her family member John David
, a flip-flop wearing hippie. According to Willie, if you think the Robertson family is weird, “you should check out [Korie’s].” And while John David has got a degree in finance, he can also do a mean Jack Black
a la “Nacho Libre.”
That’s a double whammy as far as Willie is concerned, and John David is hired.
Jase, however, tells Willie he’s going to mess with John David just on principle — he isn’t going to take orders from a brand new assistant when he’s been working there for 30 years (a fair claim.) Jase gives John David the opportunity to prove himself as worthy of working at Duck Commander by asking him if he can actually use a duck call correctly. The answer? No. But ultimately, John David redeems himself in Jase’s eyes by replacing the warehouse’s flat basketball, annoying Willie in the process.
Meanwhile, Jep’s wife is sick (“Si Crobes” perhaps?) so he parades the kids over to his parents’ house. Si decides to take the kids outside on an adventure and sets up a “treasure hunt.” In Si-World, the “X” marks the starting point, and it’s really down hill from there. The kids, all under the age of 10, couldn’t care less for Si’s riddles (“what are the names of the founding members of ‘Creedence Clearwater Revival?'”) At the end, the kids dig up candy that Si has buried, without wrappers it seems. At least they got to go outside.
- Si is a “connoisseur when it comes to animal sports movies” and owns all of the “Air Bud” movies on VHS, in case you wanted to borrow one.
- “If you’re discussing the decorations, I guarantee you, that was a bad party.” – Jase
- “May you never barf up your gumbo.” – Phil
- On Willie’s need for an assistant: “He just wanted someone slightly heavier and hairier so he looked better by comparison.” – Jase
- “Y’all are fixin’ to go on an event of a lifetime.” – Si
- “Pipe down there, Pearl Jam.” – Si
- “It’s fitting that Si took us to a grave at the end of this treasure hunt, because this is where fun has come to die.” – Jep
Did you miss the Robertsons at all? Did you even know they were gone?