Jimmy Fallon did a fun bit on “The Tonight Show” leading up to St. Patrick’s Day, where he recounted the pros and cons of everyone’s favorite excuse to drink all day long. As Fallon says, “You’ve got parades, you’ve got large crowds of people, you’ve got bars opening at 10 a.m., what could possibly go wrong?
Here are a few highlights:
Pro: “It’s a nonstop party with drinking from morning ’til night.”
Con: “It’s basically like attending a Rob Ford Fantasy Camp.”
Pro: “St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland by playing his flute.”
Con: “I do the same to party guests whenever I take out my acoustic guitar.”
Pro: “Ordering green eggs and ham.”
Con: “Or as Waffle House calls it, ‘eggs and ham.'”
Pro: “St. Patrick’s Day falls on Monday.”
Con: “Then it gets back up, falls again, stumbles around and says, ‘I’m fine,’ then vomits and passes out.”
Pro: “It’s an Irish tradition to kiss the Blarney Stone.”
Con: “It’s an American tradition to buy a green plastic hat at CVS.”
Pro: “Hooking up with someone on St. Patrick’s Day.”
Con: “The next day having to do the Walk of Seamus.”
What are you doing to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?