Surprising or not, that’s exactly how it goes down in the Season 9 episode, “The Turn in the Urn.”
So this is awkward
Brennan drags Booth to a billionaire’s funeral because he helped to fund her research. But Booth wants to watch hockey. As it turns out, Booth had the right idea because the billionaire isn’t actually dead. He even walks in to stop the funeral as it’s happening.
The not-dead man, Todd Mirga, was actually in rehab down in Costa Rica at the time of the murder and when the body was discovered. He didn’t find out he was supposed to be dead until just beforehand. Poor Todd was just about as surprised as anyone.
Instead, the dead guy is Todd’s concierge, Daniel Barr. Three weeks of decomposition in a safe room just made him pretty much unrecognizable. And then the body was cremated, so there is little to tie anything to anyone.
Brennan does a lot with a little
Even though she has nothing but cremated ashes — and even though Todd’s mother used a cheap and terrible cremation service that mixed body bits together — Brennan and the Jeffersonian team figure out quite a bit on the dead guy.
He appears to have been killed by something made of narwhal tusk, gold and silver. That would be a priceless gold cup called the Slaughterer’s Chalice. This thing is something like 4000 years old and supposedly lost for good.
The trail points back to Todd when even an antiquities dealer doesn’t know where to get her hands on such an object. But Todd acts oddly when Booth points out that there were trace amounts of diamond dust at the deadly wound’s site.
And then he confesses to the crime.
He isn’t dead, and he didn’t do it
Really, Todd Mirga is only complicating this case. Not only was he not the murder victim but he isn’t the murderer either. That (dis)honor belongs to Sarah, Todd’s girlfriend.
She killed Daniel because he was Todd’s drug-buddy and wouldn’t stop supplying the chemicals that were hurting her beloved. Then, when he wouldn’t stop, she stopped him. It just goes to show how weird rich people are that she used art to do it.
Meanwhile, Finn Abernathy is having a rough time
Remember Southern genius Finn? He’s back and things are (briefly) looking up for him. That hot sauce invented by Hodgins and Finn is selling well, so Finn wants to buy stuff. Of course, everyone disapproves of this.
Disapproval is just the beginning though. Michelle, Cam’s daughter, then dumps Finn because she’s changed or something.
At this point, Finn just has bones. They always have bones on “Bones.” The show is good that way!