As Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson knows all too well, 30 years after Bruce Willis reinvented the action movie, the tagline “Die Hard on a …” still sells scripts. Out of all the variations on that theme, however, Danny Trejo may have come up with the best one we’ve heard yet: Die Hard in a retirement home.
But wait, because it gets better. The “From Dusk Til Dawn” star has revealed that he wants Betty White to be his elderly leading lady. Furthermore, if you act now, you can help this amazing-sounding film get off the ground — assuring yourself a seat at the Oscars a few years from now when it inevitably wins Best Picture.
“Social Security” is the name of the proposed feature film, which would star Trejo — who is somehow 72 years old, although he still looks like he could smack down a punk one-third of his age. In a crowdfunding video shot — where else? — in his bathtub, the “Con Air” actor explains that he and writer/director Craig Moss are trying to raise enough money to make this off-the-wall project a reality.
Trejo would play Trejo in the flick, the plot of which sounds amazing:
“It’s Thanksgiving 2016 and Danny has promised Mario, his best friend and recent retirement home resident, that he’ll join him for an early holiday dinner before he heads to his family’s home. His plans are immediately derailed when a group of deadly and dangerous thieves take the senior residence under siege in an attempt to steal a priceless jewelry collection. Using everything he’s learned from his long list of action films, Danny is able to take on this motley crew of thieves and save the residents of this senior living facility.”
Trejo promises that the flick will have “the greatest action scenes,” “the best shoot-out scenes,” and “really hot chicks.” The hottest chick of all, however, could just be a 94-year-old former Golden Girl.
“Betty White, if you want to work, let me know, please!” Trejo says in an interview with The Wrap, promoting the project by looking into the camera and trying to butter up Hollywood’s most popular nonagenarian. “I know we’ll have a tough time, since you look so young.”
With four days remaining in its campaign, “Social Security” is nearly halfway to its goal. If you choose to donate, perks include lunch with Danny on set (Trejo’s Tacos, anyone?), the chance to be in a fight scene with him (“Danny will lay the smack down on you, and it will be awesome!”), and even getting to keep the car that Danny drives in the film — which he will autograph for you, naturally.