With “Last Week Tonight” off until July 24 and as such, host John Oliver is putting up web exclusives to entertain his fans. The call for Sunday (July 10) was reading the show’s fan mail, though Oliver doing a make-up tutorial was a close second — and he has the best name for his debut make-up video, should he ever make one.

“Johntouring – it’s about blending. It’s about blends. It’s about blending the makeup, is what I think it is about,” says Oliver.

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But alas, we do not get to watch John Oliver apply make-up for five minutes (though he should seriously consider that for next week). Instead, it’s fan mail time.

“Now, of course, no one sent me actual mail because I’m not currently fighting in the Revolutionary War … as always, our fan mail comes in the form of YouTube comments — the most cogent written argument for never learning how to read,” he quips, before launching into comments that are nearly entirely directed at how Oliver looks.

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“‘John Oliver has magnificent eyebrows,’ which I appreciated because no one has ever called any part of my body magnificent. Ever,” he says. “‘John Oliver looks like a mix of a Pokemon and a child molester,’ which made me a little mad because there is already a mix between a Pokemon and a child molester and it’s called Gengar.”

For those of you unfamiliar with that particular Pokemon … Oliver is not wrong.

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His least favorite comment is also a dig on his looks, but that’s not why Oliver didn’t like it.

“‘At least you serve your corporate masters well, unfunny live-action Beaker,’ which was incredibly discouraging mainly because I was annoyed that I hadn’t thought of that myself. I don’t mind being insulted by commenters, but it really hurts when I’m out-comedianed by them,” he says.