Stephen Colbert welcomed a very special guest to his broadcast Thursday (July 21) in the form of Jon Stewart, his former boss at "The Daily Show." And clearly Stewart hasn't missed a step since he said goodbye to the Comedy Central satirical news program a year ago.
Colbert outfitted him with a suit jacket and a clip-on tie and Stewart proceeded to annihilate the conservatives who are supporting Donald Trump for president, "a man who clearly embodies all the things that they have said for years that they have hated about Barack Obama."
"Yes, a thin-skinned narcissist with no government experience. Yes, that sounds exactly like ... Barack Obama," says Stewart, comparing the current president to Trump, "who sits on a literal golden throne at the top of a golden tower with his name in gold letters at the top of it, eating pizza with a knife and fork."
However, after pointing out all the hypocrisy from people like Sean Hannity (a.k.a. "Lumpy") regarding Obama vs. Trump's use of teleprompters, religion and elitism, Stewart gets to the meat of the problem.
"Either Lumpy and his friends are lying about being bothered by thin-skinned, authoritarian, less-than-Christian readers-of-prompter being president, or they don't care, as long as it's their thin-skinned, prompter, authoritarian, tyrant narcissist."
"You just want that person to give you your country back because you feel that you're this country's rightful owners," says Stewart. "There's only one problem with that -- this country isn't yours. You don't own it. It never was. There is no 'real America.' You don't own it. You don't own patriotism, you don't own Christianity, you sure as hell don't own respect for the bravery and sacrifice of military, police and firefighters. Trust me, I saw a lot of people on the convention floor in Cleveland with their Blue Lives Matter rhetoric who either remained silent or actively fought against the 9/11 First Responders Bill re authorization. I see you, and I see your bullshit."
"I see you. You got a problem with those Americans fighting for their place at the table. You got a problem with them because you feel like the -- what's Rep. Steve King's word for it? -- 'sub-groups' of Americans are being divisive. Well, if you have a problem with that, take it up with the founders. 'We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.'"
"Those fighting to be included in the ideal of equality are not being divisive. Those fighting to keep those people out are. So Lumpy, you and your friends have embraced Donald Trump. Clearly the 'C' next your names don't stand for 'constitutional' or 'conservative,' but 'cravely, convenient, c___.'"
And that's when Colbert fires off an airhorn because whatever Stewart was going to say cannot be broadcast live on CBS. Stewart out.