On Thursday’s (March 21) “30 Rock,” the Blocker — aka Elizabeth “Diablo” Lemon’s (Tina Fey’s) script for “Kidnapped by Danger: The Avery Jessup Story,” was brought to life at the best table read ever.
The movie is about Jack’s (Alec Baldwin’s) baby mama, Avery (Elizabeth Banks) who is cooling her heels in a North Korean prison. In the made-for-“30 Rock” made-for-TV movie she’s played by Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski) while Jack’s one-time competing love interest Nancy Donovan (Julianne Moore) is played by “Sex and the City” alumna Cynthia Nixon.
The biggest stroke of genius, though, is the Jack casting — he’s played by Baldwin’s real life brother Billy Baldwin, who does a wicked awesome impression of his older sib and, throughout the course of the show, seduces Avery’s mom (Mary Steenburgen) who his character — Lance Drake Mandrell — describes thusly:
“She’s a real hot shot a boinking, she boinks like a dog — I’m not a writer.”
But, before he gets to Avery’s mom he takes a run at getting Cynthia Nixon into bed.
“I”m married to a woman,” she says.
“I’ve got four inches of steel that might change your mind,” replies Baldwin/Mandrell.
It was off the charts, Kemosabe. Watch the entire episode below: