Though Beyonce is now the proud mother of Blue Ivy Carter, she wasn’t the first child that the singer was pregnant with. In her new HBO documentary, Beyonce opens up for the first time about the miscarriage her husband Jay-Z referenced in his song “Glory.”
“About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time. And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life,” she says in “Life Is But A Dream,” according to Us Weekly. “I picked out names. I envisioned what my child would look like … I was feeling very maternal.”
Apparently something went wrong in the early stages of the Queen B’s pregnancy, because when she went to her New York doctor she found out her child did not have a heartbeat.
“Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat,” Beyonce recalls. “I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’ve ever written in my life. And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through.”
That just made the Super Bowl halftime performer feel all the luckier when she finally did give birth to Blue Ivy. “Being pregnant was very much like falling in love,” she says. “You are so open. You are so overjoyed. There’s no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone.”