It’s time for the first live show of the “Big Brother 15” season. We’ll be here for live updates, so keep checking in if you aren’t able to watch. Also, be sure to sign up for the live feeds because we’re anticipating fireworks after tonight’s elimination and HOH competition.
All times Eastern.
8:00 — We’re wondering if Jeremy wiping his bare butt with Elissa’s hat will make it to air. Julie Chen did tease that “people are starting to show their true colors.” We’re intrigued as to what that means.
8:05 — After five minutes of previouslies, we pick things up with Elissa going up in Candice’s place. McCrae’s plan is to appease the house by putting Elissa on the block but voting David out anyway. Can he pull it off? We think he can.
8:07 — Elissa comes clean with Andy about being Rachel’s sister and MVP this week. Can she be trusted? I think she can be and if I was Andy, I’d work with her in a heartbeat. She has a good chance to be MVP every week with Rachel’s fans voting for her.
8:08 — The Jeremy/Kaitlin showmance is so groddy, y’all. Kaitlin might have been a decent hosueguest had she not fallen in with these numbskulls, but Jeremy is the worst. He’s a total jerk and his treatment of women is appalling.
8:10 — It’s booze-gate. The houseguests agree to wait until midnight so the Have Nots can drink, but Jeremy the Jerk (Jerkemy?) goes and takes the bottle of red wine for him and his disgusting alliance to have all to themselves.
8:11 — Aaryn, don’t act like a victim. Jerkemy did not force the red wine into your hand and then down your throat. Also, the level of irony in calling people two-faced is … wow. Aaryn’s lack of self-awareness is STAGGERING.
8:13 — Aaryn and Jerkemy act like the rest of the house needed a smack down or something, when they are completely in the wrong by taking the wine early. Andy is 100 percent correct that Aaryn is the head of the snake. Don’t be fooled by her Britney accent and blonde hair — she is awful. The only jerks we see in the house are you and your alliance, Aaryn. Also, good luck with your modeling career now that you’ve been fired for being racist.
8:14 — Look what you did, Jerkemy. Helen is crying! Sweet mom Helen is CRYING. And she’s absolutely correct that she would never raise boys who act like Jeremy. His parents should be embarrassed of his behavior. “Throw a spear at a buffalo,” are you kidding me with this?!
8:19 — Oooh, showmance time. Amanda and McCrae have totally been making out in the house (and maybe more). Woo woo.
8:20 — Amanda, Judd and Spencer start to come around on using Elissa’s MVP power by keeping her in exchange for getting her to work with them. It’s a smart move.
8:28 — The nominees’ speeches. Jessie’s is dumb, she knows she’s staying. Elissa argues that keeping her around is smart because she’s such a target, then she babbles some other stuff about her sister. David is all, “I know kung fu.”
8:30 — The voting begins. Amanda, Nick and Spencer vote to evict David, while Candice, Aaryn and Kaitlin vote to evict Elissa. Hilariously, at first, the David votes get cheers and the Elissa votes get boos.
8:35 — More votes. Howard, Judd, Andy and Helen evict David, GinaMarie and Jeremy evict Elissa. That means David is going home!
8:37 — When it is announced, Aaryn and GinaMarie look gobsmacked and the audio has to cut out because they are swearing up a storm. Bwahahaha. Sorry, David, but your alliance was the worst.
8:40 — There is almost literally a full minute of silence because of all the profanity.
8:42 — David’s Julie interview is painful. Our pre-show interview with him was like pulling teeth, he’s a total doof. He also says he’s been looking for a girl like Aaryn all his life. Wait, you were looking for a girl to be controlling and insecure every time you so much as looked at another girl sideways? Because she is crazypants.
8:50 — It’s a duo competition, where they will be walking back and forth int he backyard trying to fill up jugs with barbecue sauce. The first team to remove the pingpong ball from their jug will win. Hmm. But — what’s the rest of it?! The audio cut out! How do you win HOH?!
8:56 — Julie starts to explain the rules again and the audio cuts out. WTF, CBS? It sounds as though the duo has to just decide? We’re unsure.