It probably makes me a bad person to say this, but I wished throughout most of “The Survivor in the Soap” that everyone would just lighten up a little. These are people who deal with death daily — often occurring in the most horrible and tragic ways. Brennan (Emily Deschanel) has worked identifying victims of mass killings on multiple occasions. Booth (David Boreanaz) was a soldier. Even Cam (Tamara Taylor) worked as a coroner in New York City.
Horrifying death and even more horrifying conditions shouldn’t be quite so sobering for people like this. When the “Bones” characters are this affected, it just feels… off. Not bad, per se. Just off.
The ongoing tragedy of Arastoo Vaziri
I have found the character of Arastoo Vaziri (Pej Vahdat) to be a fascinating one since his arrival several seasons ago. Partially, this is because he is played by an excellent actor. But there’s another, rather odd aspect to the character as well — Arastoo plays the stand-in for much of the world’s ills.
When the show needs to discuss the open practice of religion and belief, Mr. Vaziri is there. If there are prejudices about Muslims, it’s Arastoo who gets to answer. The immigrant experience is all Vaziri (even though it’s never been clear if or when he actually immigrated).
Now, apparently, he has personal experience with child soldiers? The poor guy sure has a lot of issues to represent in the “Bones” world…
On the other hand, we must congratulate the man on somehow shedding any trace of an accent after apparently spending most of his childhood and youth in another country.
Oh right, the case
Enough griping — there was a case.
A young man is found stuffed in a metal drum where his soft tissue had dissolved into soap. The result of this is the most disturbing bar of luxury soap you’ve ever seen. Yuck.
It turns out that the victim is a young man who was once a child soldier in Sierra Leone. Through some photos of the unfortunate children so many years before and with the help of a friend, the Jeffersonian team figures out that the victim’s death was related to the presence of a West African war criminal — now the janitor in the victim’s building.
But it wasn’t the war criminal who did it. However awful that guy is, it’s the lawyer who covered up the immigration of a monster who did the killing.
Lightening things up with amusing quotes
“We haven’t been away since Christine was born…” — Booth
“I have.” — Brennan
“You were running away from the police.” — Booth
“Dude in a barrel?” — Booth
“I have no way of knowing if it’s a dude yet.” — Brennan
“Extremities can be very informative.” — Brennan
“Are you going to say something about the size of a man’s feet now?” — Hodgins
“Bones are clean? I think the soap already did that.” — Hodgins
“I’m surprised they have their clothes on.” — Angela on Cam and Arastoo
“You don’t seem like an FBI agent…” — Hamilton
“Thank you.” — Brennan
“Don’t worry, buddy! You’ll get him. And I’ll give you all the credit — I’m not a small man.” — State Department guy
“No one has it easy in war.” — Brenna
“Skeletons and poop… Way to ruin Paris, Bones.” — Booth
“Yes. And no. But mostly no.” — Hodgins
“Why are Cam and Arastoo embracing?” — Brennan
“Are we supposed to clap or something?” — Hodgins
“Paradise: Mass graves for me and a beach with liquor for you.” — Brennan