On “Dance Moms” this week, Abby, ever the innovator for her troupe of tiny dancers, borrowed a page from HBO’s gritty, Baltimore-based drama “The Wire” for the girls’ group routine about a homeless child, played by superstar Maddie. The other girls in the dance help her and clean her up (much like McNulty and his crew cleaned up the streets on “The Wire” by nailing Avon Barksdale and company …).
“And at the end what do we see?” Abby explains to the girls, “another homeless child! Because the problem still exists.” Just like on “The Wire”! Locking up Barksdale or nailing any of the Sobotka clan or even getting dirt on Stringer Bell never solved anything — the problem still existed because they were only treating the symptoms. See if you can find the similarities (Warning: The language isn’t bleeped out like it is on “Dance Moms”):
Abby also obviously took some notes from “Zoolander” and Mugatu’s Derelicte campaign, as she ponders, “What am I going to do with Maddie to make her homeless that she can still dance in?”
Later she tells Maddie, “I better see a homeless child that hasn’t eaten, that hasn’t bathed.” You have to believe you’re homeless, Maddie! Here’s some inspiration:
Elsewhere the posse of moms decide to pep up their storyline with a little “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” action � la friends sending threatening cease-and-desist letters to friends for discussing their personal lives. In this case, we have Melissa, who oddly doesn’t want the other moms to discuss her engagement, because as Abby says, “There are two things you don’t talk about: marriage and divorce!” Hm, turns out it’s not politics and religion after all.
Finally, just to cap off the “Dance Moms” tribute to our favorite TV shows and movies, Abby rewarded viewers with a reenactment of Kelly Bensimon’s famous line in her fight with Bethenny Frankel on “The Real Housewives of New York City.”
“We’re up here, and she’s down here,” Abby says about arch nemesis Cathy of Candy Apple’s Dance Center.
Relive the original here:
Quick recap of everything else: Holly’s quitting her job, so she can be more of a Dance Mom. Nia got a spot in the trio this week, which sadly didn’t place, but neither did the group’s homeless routine. One of Cathy’s dancers broke her ankle — maybe. Maddie won first place with her solo, per usual. And we may never find out what was in the gift box Cathy brought for Melissa.
Next week: Kelly’s getting a boob job, Nia twists her ankle, and Chloe forgets her dance.