This week’s Season 2 premiere of “Don’t Trust The B—- in Apartment 23” took place in James Van Der Beek‘s imaginary fantasy world in which Michelle Williams, Katie Holmes, and Joshua Jackson regularly beg him to reunite with them for the anniversary of the “Dawson’s Creek” series finale. Turns out, Chloe (Krysten Ritter) had been writing him the letters to make him feel powerful — and June (Dreama Walker) screwed that all up by finally convincing him to agree to the reunion. James attempted to arrange the reunion, but learned that Katie, Josh, and Michelle aren’t into it. Why? Because they hate him.
“B—- in Apartment 23” executive producer Nahnatchka Khan tells THR that the “Dawson’s” reunion episode could become a regular event for the series — so we’re already making big, big plans. We have high hopes that the episode’s hilarious cameo appearances by Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Frankie Munez, and “Dawson’s” alum Busy Phillipps could inspire other ’90s faves to visit the comedy in future seasons. Eventually, Williams, Holmes, and Jackson have to give in, right? How many times can they say they’d be down for a reunion before they have to cave?
In real life, Van Der Beek is a father of two with a healthy sense of humor about his teen angst roots. On the show, he’s an ego maniac womanizer who makes bad life choices and says things like “It wasn’t Pacey, Jen, and Joey’s creek!” Given the creative license taken with his character, we’ve come up with some foolproof ideas for the rest of the cast’s inevitable appearances on the show. (Now we’re in our imaginary fantasy world. Just let it happen.)
Joshua Jackson‘s “Apartment 23” alter-ego should definitely be based on his Pacey Con video. “People ask me all the time why I’m working on the show ‘Fringe,’ and
the honest answer to that is to fund my first love, which is Pacey fan
fiction,” Jackson explained in the best viral video ever made, before reading some of his prose aloud. “The
winter sun was cold but bright as Pacey squinted in the glare.” Perhaps, as James suggested in tonight’s “Apartment 23” episode, he should reveal that he’s also in love with the Beek. And has been, all these years.
When (not if) Katie Holmes appears on the comedy, she should reveal that she’s decided to start her own celebrity religion. She’ll genuinely believe that her daughter Suri is a prophet sent from an alien planet to teach us all to clear our personal spiritual barriers, and for only a few hundred thousand dollars a year, you too can join her religion and avoid being sent to the evil implant station. Or whatever.
Given her general failure to become a successful, respected actress, Michelle Williams should obviously use her appearance on “Apartment 23” to help promote the costume jewelry and creepy dolls she sells on the Home Shopping Network. Perhaps she can also remind folks of her upcoming Lifetime Original Movie co-starring Chad Michael Murray.