When it comes to romance on “Dexter” Dexter (Michael C. Hall) and his sister (Jennifer Carpenter) have a terrible track record. In fact, Lt. Morgan has lost three beaus to three different serial killers — including her brother and now her brother’s girlfriend, Hannah McKay (Yvonne Strahovski).
Even though Hannah is a very bad girl, Dexter discovers he prefers her very much alive. But the lovely Miss McKay poisons Sal Price (Santiago Cabrera) hours before his dinner date with Deb — who knows she is guilty of at least four murders but is powerless to arrest her. Furious and frustrated, Deb does the unthinkable: She calls her brother and asks him to dispense his special brand of justice … to the woman with whom he believes he’s finally found real love. And who is sleeping in his arms when Deb asks him to “do what you do.”
At least what he used to do, before he and Hannah awoke on the table where he planned to kill her, and — again — did something altogether different. Unfortunately, when he drove her home, Sal saw them kiss goodbye and used that to extort information from them: from Hannah, her confession that she actually killed one of Wayne Randall’s victims, for which has immunity from prosecution; from Dexter, Wayne Randall’s last words, on the record.
Poison Pen: Dexter thinks he has the last word, after breaking into Sal’s apartment and stealing DNA evidence to frame him for the murder of one of his best-selling subjects. (And deleting all of Sal’s research for his forthcoming book detailing Hannah’s crimes. Surely he has stored other copies elsewhere, but this spectacular season has earned our suspension of disbelief.) Ultimately it’s Hannah who has the last word, though, dipping the orally fixated author’s pen in a deadly but undetectable poison after she confesses on tape to the newlywed killing. Too bad the two serial killers didn’t compare notes, though, because Sal dropped dead in Dexter’s apartment, instead of while driving as Hannah intended.
Fatal Attraction: Like Hannah and Dexter, Deb and Sal have more than a flirtation in common: they are working together … to catch Hannah. To obtain permission to exhume her husband’s body, Sal tracks down his sister — who agrees, and tells Deb that Hannah was pregnant and miscarried after his death. Unfortunately, the grieving widow didn’t embalm the body, so the police can’t test his remains for poison. Sal and Deb agree to meet for dinner after Sal interviews Hannah, with the cop warning, “I’d watch what I eat around her.” Shame the dude didn’t prefer gum.
Getting Away With Murder: After hearing Hannah’s taped confession and armed with a blood report proving that the original nursery owner was killed by a plant on her property — not to mention her confidence that Sal’s tox screen will also implicate Hannah — Deb brings her in for questioning. Alas, Deb didn’t listen to Hannah’s grandma, because her certainty was misplaced: Sal’s postmortem results are perfectly normal.
But Hannah’s isn’t the only case falling apart at Miami Metro. Since Quinn stole the blood evidence against Isaak Sirko (Ray Stevenson) and the Koshka Brotherhood contaminated the crime scene with sewage, they are forced to drop the charges against Dexter’s No. 1 enemy. (Quinn was just protecting his girlfriend, like Dexter, and when Batista covers for his partner, Quinn assuages his guilt by investing $10,000 his new restaurant. Why don’t we believe this will have a happily ever after?)
Wile E. Coyote: With the police tailing him 24/7 at Deb’s orders, Isaak Sirko surprises Dexter at a restaurant. Instead of backing down, Dexter taunts the mob boss with the gruesome details of Viktor’s murder — and promises he’ll do the same to Isaak (“give or take the fire extinguisher”). Dexter may be the roadrunner so far in this equation, but Isaak’s cold fury promises an epic showdown ahead. Meanwhile, “Dexter’s” cartoonish captain still won’t heed Deb’s advice to back down on her Bay Harbor Butcher investigation. LaGuerta cross-references the names of law enforcement staff with registered boat owners and notices that Dexter Morgan is on the list. Ruh-roh. Could the Slice of Life finally mean his death sentence?
New Math: “Sometimes life subtracts, sometimes it adds,” Hannah tells Dexter by way of justifying their bloodlust — and explaining her pregnancy. (She killed her husband after he threatened to leave her if she didn’t get an abortion, yet still suffered a miscarriage after his death.)
So while Hannah fulfills all the requirements for a victim according to Dexter’s code, she points out how special their relationship is: “We were looking out for each other,” she says after Sal’s death. “That’s big for people like us — maybe even historic.” She’s also the first woman to accept him — “the whole Dexter” — exactly as he is.
But isn’t Deb’s request that he kill Hannah proof of her own acceptance? Does he dare disappoint her, even at the risk of his own happiness?
“Boy did he pick the wrong car.” –Dex to his passenger, Hannah, when a motorcyclist cuts them off.
“Not yet, George. Miami is still overcrowded. By one.” –Isaak to his lieutenant, who is urging him to return to Ukraine.
“I can’t even have a drink with someone without them dying.” –Deb upon losing another love interest.