This episode was so soapy-weird it’s positively trippy, between the bombastic music and absurd lighting, but at least it was fun: Not one but four fairytale princes, each one played like puppets by their respective princesses, and each story ending in disaster for nearly everybody. (Lily spends the entire episode watching Downton Abbey, which would have made her the winner any old week — because it’s the best — but really puts her ahead of the pack this time.)
Raina decides to go looking for her mom, again, sending Chuck into a tailspin, again: Depressed, growing slight facial hair, delivering every line as though about to vomit. But then, maybe he has good reason: Avery and Bart were having an affair, which she ended the night of the fire. Chuck and Nate get into a scary homoerotic fight — Nate touting the Prince over whatever perverted s*** Chuck and Blair ever had going on, even — that sends Chuck stumbling drunkenly into the night for one last try with Blair.
Meanwhile, seems adorable Prince Louis is about to be engaged to one of ten princesses (literal!) at a big fancy Royal Ball. Dorota draws on her background to instruct Blair about the finer points of royal etiquette, awesomely, but Blair’s Cinderella dreams are threatened by two princesses: his mother Princess Sophie, a hilariously regal battleax, and Ugly Sister Serena, keeping the royal heads of Monaco informed on the less-valorous chapters of Blair’s history.