After winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor at the 86th Academy Awards on Sunday (March 2), Jared Leto may have made history — and certainly made more than a few reporters’ nights — when he allowed members of the media to pass around his statuette.
“Does anybody want to try it out for size?” he asked the room. “You can fondle it if you want to. Pass it around, but if you have swine flu, please don’t touch. I bet this is the first time someone has given away their Oscar for an orgy in the press room.”
I was in that press room, sitting just three rows away from Leto, and I lived to tell the tale. While there was no resulting orgy, the possibility of holding a real-life Academy Award sparked a frenzy in those of us lucky enough to have sat in the front of the room.
What follows is the 10 step thought process one goes through when presented with such an opportunity.
1. Oh, surely he’ll never really pass his Oscar back. It’s AN OSCAR, after all.
2. Oh, wait — he’s really doing it.
3. OMG there is really an Oscar coming my way.
4. Play it cool. You’re a professional. Besides, it’ll never really make it to the third row.
5. Oh, wait — it’s made it to the third row.
6. GIVE ME THAT OSCAR NOW.
7. Curse the Academy and their no-photos policy. This would be the best selfie of my life.
8. Life will never be the same.
9. I HELD AN OSCAR. I HELD AN OSCAR. I HELD AN OSCAR.
10. I’ve got to text my mom.
“Thanks for getting my Oscar dirty with your fingerprints,” Leto said as he departed the press room, award reunited with its rightful owner.
No, no, Jared — thank you.