How harsh is that? Jenni “JWoww” Farley got dumped on national television. It’s not totally unexpected. She arrived in the season premiere of “Jersey Shore” 2.5 already having doubts about her relationship and then she went out to the clubs and partied, forgetting that it was her and her boyfriend’s anniversary.
That was the beginning of the end, but there’s more… JWoww is no dummy. She had a backup guido waiting in the wings. She had been softening the blow of the impending breakup with some Shore gorilla named Roger, who may or may not have a girlfriend already. The nosy guidette who said he does in the last episode is still on the case, “C.S.I.-style.”
Roger’s hard pecs couldn’t soften the blow of JWoww’s dumping, though. Neither could the room full of roommates who insisted on listening in while she it all went down on the phone. We’re sure the always-sensitive DJ Pauly Delvecchio cracking jokes the entire time had nothing to do with Tom’s anger. Or maybe it had something to do with JWoww saying she needed “a breather” and admitting that “breather’s” name is Roger.
By the way, Ronnie Magro is loving the hypocrisy of JWoww hanging out with someone behind her boyfriend’s back. We think three-way kissing some chicks, then rolling back into your bed with your girlfriend is a way more serious offense. But, we don’t live at The Shore.
Things took a sad turn when JWoww announced that her boyfriend had moved out of their place and left her two dogs to fend for themselves. Now what did they do? Except for being uh-dorable. It was Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi to the rescue as they jumped in the car to do some Animal Planet-like emergency rescue. Once there, JWoww checked her spot for spare keys and they weren’t there. Oh, Tom! Luckily, the guidette also hides a second set of keys in the BBQ grill? It’s a pretty smart move, which totally throws the “Jersey Shore” universe off its axis. So, let’s just ignore it and be happy that she was able to get inside and confirm that her dogs were still uh-dorable (oh, and alive).
Once inside, JWoww found a few things missing – her favorite watch, her hard drive, oh, and he wiped out her account via Pay Pal, which now needs to change their name to “Pay Bastards.” Oh, Roger, he of the bad tan and haircut, we’re glad you’ll be there for JWoww when she gets back to The Shore.
“Dean definitely didn’t get the golden ticket, but I gave him the sneak peek.” – Deena Cortese, after spending the night with Ronnie’s doppelganger
“Any pinot is okay. Pregnant people do it.” – Snooki, on what she can drink… now that she’s quitting drinking, that is
“Ahhhhhhh, the boobs are suffocating me.” – Vinny Guadagnino, a comment on JWoww’s rack, which apparently has a violent streak