After watching Thursday’s Sept. 24 “Jersey Shore,” I have a new understanding of the way the crew’s wild world works. I’ve pointed out the signs of the crew’s wisdom before, but I learned a new subject from the last episode: Bang-onomics
You have to have noticed that the crew tallies every time they smush on the blackboard. The flip side is that the crew acknowledges the double standard that when the guidos bring home different girls on different nights and rack up the tally marks, they’re studs –fist pumps all around. If a guidette, say Angelina Pivarnick, does it, she’s a whore. But, this crew doesn’t run with the usual pack. Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, for example, can hit it with different guys, because she spaces them out. See, bang-onomics is a harder discipline for the guidettes and it’s so easy to fail the class.
I’ve come to realize that Angelina is not a very smart girl, though (yeah, I just recently figured this out, heh). Instead of just accepting that she can’t add another tally mark, because she didn’t actually smush with Jose for his birthday (poor played-out Jose), she lied, thinking it would get her respect… Oh, Angelina.
It totally backfired, because she just hit it with roomie Vinny Guadagnino, who hates her guts, and she has been leading Jose on to believe that she’s only dating him. Then, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino basically blackmailed her into telling Jose about Vinny or he would.
OK, so here’s how the bang-onomics worked:
Angelina + banging Vinny = Jose deserves a smush…. But
Angelina + banging Vinny + smushing with Jose = Angelina’s a whore
It’s clear that Jenny and Snooks have been studying, but Angelina, you need to hit the books, girl. You’re a fail.