When talking about how she lives on the East Coast, but travels constantly to the West Coast to film her various programs, Rivers says, “Taylor Swift‘s knees have been together more than Melissa and I … if you’ve broken up with nine people in nine months, maybe you should douche. I say this as a loving grandmother. I say this with love.”
She later took a few jabs at Angelina Jolie: “Not a bad word about that wonderful slut … we work together for the U.N. We do things for children. We either sell or buy, we do something wonderful for children. And then we drink at night … She said to me the other night, ‘If I can make one person happy Joan, I die content.’ I said, ‘Easy. Give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.'”
Rivers also gave a quick stand-up act on a commercial break — we wonder what she said when the cameras weren’t rolling.