The original had an eclectic ensemble including Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Don Johnson and Robert De Niro, but the sequel easily has it beat. Among the actors on board for “Machete Kills” are Lady Gaga, Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, Sofia Vergara, Antonio Banderas, Amber Heard, Cuba Gooding Jr., Vanessa Hudgens, Demian Bichir, Alexa Vega and William Sadler.
Danny Trejo returns as the title character, while Alba and Michelle Rodriguez reprise key supporting roles.
With a cast like that, we’re not sure the plot even matters, but the short version is Machete accepts an impossible mission to stop a psychotic revolutionary and billionaire arms dealer from spreading anarchy across the globe.
Honestly, it could be about Machete running a pet turtle farm and we’d still see it. How about you?