Attention all girls (and super “fierce” boys). Mattel has just announced a new line of Barbies for career-oriented young ladies. The new line is called “I Can Be” and features an array of dolls with differing job themes.
Some of these oh-so-inspiring dolls include the always attainable: Rock Star Barbie, Dentist Barbie, and for those young girls who are just fine with dreaming small there is always Babysitter Barbie. Although the idea is a good one, Zap2it would like to suggest a few Barbies for Mattel’s new line. Doll executives globally please take note:
]]>Train Wreck Barbie:
Description: This hot mess looks hot in heels.
Key accessories: Ankle monitor, Chihuahua, and the always trendy: revoked license.
Not included: Stage Mother Barbie
Dancing With The Stars Barbie:
Description: This orange has-been stands tall, even when she probably shouldn’t.
Key accessories: Spray tan, weave, and a sensible time piece to count down her last fifteen minutes of fame.
Not Included: Coordination, and future career.
Mel Gibson Baby Mama Barbie:
Description: This exotic beauty looks like a dream, and sounds like she sleeps upside down.
Key Accessories: Cell phone, tape recorder, and new “album” to promote.
Not included: Lawyer and baby daddy sold separately.
Big Love Barbie:
Description: This make-up free man pleaser will keep your Utah Barbie Dream House clean as a whistle.
Key Accessories: Inferiority complex, goat, and always in-fashion floor length khaki skirt. (Ankle showing is so last season).
Not included: Three sister wives and eighteen kids.
Betty White Barbie
(We sort of feel contractually obligated to include BW on, well, every list in Hollywood because lets face it she rules the world):
Description: America’s surprise sweetheart crammed into 12 inches of plastic goodness.
Key Accessories: The career you wish you had, Facebook fans, and every comedic guest star role in Hollywood.
Not included: Sandra Bullock’s friendship, and the hips of a Barbie half her age.
Photo credits: Getty Images