The 2013 Video Music Awards are here and there seems to be quite a show planned. The biggest expectation is some sort of *NSYNC reunion during Justin Timberlake’s Video Vanguard Award presentation. There’s also performances from Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Drake and many more. Then there’s that far less exciting Danity Kane reunion that tens of fans are excited to see.
Who will walk away with the most Moonmen and which attendee will undoubtedly make a fool of themselves? Plus, which star will have the craziest outfit? Our money is on Gaga, who will need to find a way to top the infamous meat dress. Hopefully we also get a brand-new jaw-dropping moment in VMA history.
The 2013 Video Music Awards kick off at 9 p.m. ET with Gaga’s performance and Zap2it will be live blogging the entire show for your viewing pleasure. Keep up and chime in with your thoughts in the comments.
All times are ET.
9 p.m. – We begin on time, which is nice, and Lady Gaga is wearing … something. Her head is a giant white block, for some reason and she looks terrifying. The boos and hisses she receive may or may not have been a recording. Luckily she ditched the blockhead before starting “Applause.”
She goes through a few different looks, before setting on the seashell bikini from her music video. It’s less of a song performance and more of a quick change act, with really slow changes. Good thing she’s got the dancers to distract everyone.
9:05 p.m. – One Direction is out first, billed as “The stars of the film ‘One Direction: This is Us’.” Come on. The camera showed a very unimpressed Taylor Swift in the audience, with her ex onstage. She may have even tossed out a curse word to a friend. They’re presenting best pop video to Selena Gomez for “Come and Get It.”
MTV is really good at subtlety. They just promised a “performance by Justin Timberlake. And maybe not all the way solo.”
9:17 p.m. – Miley Cyrus is out to introduce Miley Cyrus. Actually, it’s Vanessa Bayer portraying her “SNL” version of Miley, Shailene Woodley at her side.
Miley takes the stage wearing a swimsuit made to look like a gross teddy bear, with lots of dancing bears onstage. Miley is a pelvic-thrusting machine, before she tears off the teddy bear swimsuit to reveal, well, underwear. Cue Robin Thicke! This is like a fever dream..
We’re pretty sure Miley just twerked against Robin’s groin. The humanity. The only way to fix this, obviously, is 2 Chainz and Kendrick Lamar. Good luck following that, Lil Kim.
9:26 p.m. – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis win best hip hop video for “Can’t Hold Us.” Macklemore left the actual thanking of people to Lewis. He was too busy talking about all of his ideas for the video. Also, it sounds like Macklemore called his fiancee “Sharkface.”
9:34 p.m. – Kevin Hart comes out to mock the show a little, because it’s just too easy. He even says Miley should get a pregnancy test after her performance. He’s pretty spot on. He also warns Taylor and Selena to stay away from Robin Thicke. Good move.
9:38 p.m. – Jared Leto out to introduce Kanye West, because that combination makes sense. It looks like just his silhouette is performing, though. There’s also a lot of autotune. The second half of his long was largely bleeped out. Daft Punk is presenting an award, this should be interesting.
9:47 p.m. – Daft Punk doesn’t talk, so of course they brought Pharrell Williams and producer Nile Rodgers out with them to do the heavy-lifting. They’re just the pretty metal faces holding it all together. Oh, and Taylor Swift wins for best female video. She uses the opportunity to take a swipe at Harry Styles.
9:52 p.m. – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis win best video with a social message for “Same Love.” Unfortunately, they sort of forgot to thank Mary Lambert, who provides vocals on the song and was standing next to them.
10 p.m. – Jimmy Fallon is out to talk about Justin Timberlake. Let the *NSYNC love fest begin. Jimmy dubbed him the “President of Pop.” After a video tribute, Justin performs “Take Back the Night,” while walking around somewhere backstage. Once onstage, Justin throws out a little “SexyBack.”
10:10 p.m. – Justin goes through a medley of his songs, including “Cry Me a River,” before finally it happened. *NSYNC rises from beneath the stage. Well, that was quick. One chorus of “Bye, Bye, Bye” and everyone who isn’t Justin sinks back below the stage. Thanks for coming, guys!
10: 14 p.m. – If we’ve learned anything, it’s that Taylor Swift really loves Justin Timberlake. A lot. What did you think of the *NSYNC reunion, if it can be called that?
10:26 p.m. – Kevin Hart is back for some reason, even though he continues to say he isn’t hosting the show. He talks about how *NSYNC has gained weight and only got to do one song. “I saw Joey fart, Joey farted!” At least Hart isn’t hosting.
Once he’s gone, Vampire Weekend is out to present best song of the summer, which goes to One Direction for “Best Song Ever.” Hopefully they share the moonman with The Who. The audience had the good sense to boo the boys.
10:34 p.m. – Out next are Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, with Mary Lambert, for a rendition of “Same Love” that is very scaled back, with the focus on the song rather than the duo’s normal theatrics. Jennifer Hudson joins them for the song towards the end, a nice showing from everyone involved.
10:43 p.m. – Austin Mahone wins the artists to watch award. So keep an eye on him, who knows what kind of trouble he’ll be getting into.
10:47 p.m. – It’s Drake time. The Smith family, Will, Jaden and Willow, are all big fans and seem to be having more fun with the performance than anyone else in the crowd.
10:55 p.m. – Taylor Swift is out to present best music video. It does to Bruno Mars for “Locked Out of Heaven.” It’s his first VMA ever.
11:05 p.m. – What better way to follow a Bruno win than with a Bruno performance? His whole budget was spent on lasers it seems, but it’s an impressive outing, to say the least. As “Gorilla” reaches its climax, there’s also fire. This might be the performance that steals the show.
One moonman left and Katy Perry’s show-closer. She’s walking around backstage in a boxing robe that says “Lioness” across the back.
11:15 p.m. – Joseph Gordon-Levitt is out to give away video of the year, mostly because he’s got a movie to promote. He uses his best dramatic announcer voice to give Justin Timberlake the moonman for “Mirrors.”
11:18 p.m. – Alison Williams from “Girls” throws the show to the Brooklyn Bridge, where Katy Perry is performing “Roar.” In case you didn’t catch it the 19 times the announcer said it throughout the night, this is her “biggest hit ever.”
Just when you thought the performance wouldn’t be complete without boxing Perry getting a championship title belt, there it is. Good work Katy, on winning whatever title fight it was that you won.