The times, they are a changing, and so are Girl Scout Cookies. First they go and mess with the beloved Samoas, changing their name to Caramel deLites on half the packaging. Now the Girl Scouts introduce a brand new cookie, infused with some sort of mysterious fruit-preserving vitamins.
They’re called Mango Cremes with Nutrifusion, and if you’re wondering what in tarnation Nutrifusion is, you’re not alone.
The Girl Scout cookies website describes the new addition to its door-knocking sales arsenal as “vanilla and coconut cookies filled with a tangy mango-flavored creme enhanced with nutrients derived from fruits.”
Nutrifusion, as it turns out, is actually the manufacturer of a product called GrandFusion, which basically purports to extend the shelf-life of the antioxidants from fruit and vegetables in baked goods. In this case, that would be the mango — the problem being, there is no mango in the Mango Cremes.
The cookies’ ingredients list includes palm oil, corn syrup, artificial flavor, corn starch, soy lecithin, and — oh, hey — coconut. Also included, presumably as part of the GrandFusion, are “nutrients from natural whole food concentrate of (cranberry, pomegranate, orange, grape, strawberry, shitake mushrooms).” So, mango-flavored nutrients from concentrate? Mmm, sounds delicious.
Unless you’re trying to fool yourself into thinking you’re doing something healthy while chowing down on your annual supply of Girl Scout cookies, it might be advisable to stick with the good old fashioned, sugar-laden Samoas. They may be traveling under an alias at times, but at least they aren’t trying to be something they’re not.