Happy birthday, Pippa Middleton. 30 is a great year. You’re leaving your twenties behind and graduating into a thrilling new decade of your life — we promise. In order to celebrate the most promising year of your career and personal life, let’s take a look back on your 29th year together, shall we?
September, 2012: Pippa spends her birthday week chilling in the Hamptons and meeting with book publishers. It’s good to be Pippa.
October: Pippa reveals the confusion and turmoil of her sudden skyrocket to fame. (Thanks a lot, Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton.)
October: Pippa’s party book is on its way to shelves and it’s already a royal fail. So much for that six-figure advance.
October: Pippa is spotted out and about on the arm of tall, dark, and handsome investment banker, James Matthews.
November: Pippa has no chance of pushing her party book stateside because sister Kate asks her to take a step back out of the spotlight. That means no talk shows, no book tour, and no party planning sequel. Womp, womp.
February, 2013: Pippa and cute stockbroker Nico Jackson, sittin’ in a tree … She sure likes those men in finance, doesn’t she?
March: Pippa is dropped by her literary agent over the giant fail that was “Celebrate: A Year of Festivities for Families and Friends.” Don’t worry, Pippa. #itgetsbetter
June: Pippa gets a sweet gig writing a column for “Vanity Fair.” See? Good things come to those whose sisters marry into the Royal family.
July: Pippa becomes an auntie to Royal baby, George — the third in line for the British throne.
July: Pippa moves to shut down a parody Twitter profile, “Pippa Tips,” that mocks her less than stellar party tips. (Let’s all just pretend this whole book thing never happened, OK?)
September: Pippa is planning a fairytale wedding, y’all. Well, that’s what her so-called friends tell the British tabloids anyway. But … it would seem she and Nico aren’t taking the plunge just yet.
September: People really, really want Pippa to be engaged to Nico because the rumors keep coming. Sadly, she’s still single … that we know of. Hey, Nico: Have you planned any — ahem — birthday surprises yet? You can tell us. We’ll keep it on the low.
Alright, Pippa. Let’s see what your 30th year on earth will bring to make your forget your 29th ever happened. Go get ’em, tiger.