Another season in the Sunshine State comes to a close as “The Real Housewives of Miami” wrapped Season 3 on Monday (Nov. 4) with star Joanna Krupa finally tying the knot with fiance Romain Zago. With Joanna’s ending fairly common knowledge, the suspense was left in seeing how things came together for the rest of the ladies.
First off, we must discuss that drive to San Diego from Las Vegas after the ladies “overslept.” Has anything ever seen more fake in the history of reality TV? The women supposedly woke up at 11, couldn’t find a single flight that would get them to southern California by sunset (a flight that’s only 45 minutes long) and had to drive. They pulled over somewhere to make a dramatic phone call and then still arrived on time. There’s no way this occurred in reality. Simply no way.
With that complaint out of the way, let’s look at how each Wife ended the season:
Adriana De Moura: Adriana really came full circle this season, especially in regards to her relationship with Joanna. Seeing these two bitter enemies come together and enjoy each other’s company was a delight, as was seeing Adriana apologize to Joanna’s mom for her bad behavior. There may be hope for these two yet. Sadly, it doesn’t look as if the same can be said for Adriana and Lea Black. (More on that later.)
Alexia Echevarria: Alexia’s storyline this season was entirely centered on her family; particularly, the recovery of son Frankie after his devastating accident. It’s been interesting and touching to watch throughout the season, but with the finale squarely focused on Joanna’s wedding, it made her feel rather inconsequential. Though she was only away from her family for three days, all of her screen time was spent moping about being away from them, which only worked to highlight how little she really factored into season’s events. And Peter’s arrival was so beyond staged. Oof.
Lisa Hochstein: After all the drama spurred by Lisa’s insane drinking in Vegas the night before was quickly swept under the rug, which was actually a pleasant surprise. It was refreshing to see a fight not turn into some sort of elongated grudge. The youngest Wife was missing her husband while at Joanna’s wedding and the producers tried their hardest to make it look like their marriage was on the rocks, but Lisa spent a majority of the episode beaming over the fact that she and Lenny had found a surrogate to help them have a child. One of this season’s most fascinating, if sad, storylines has been watching Lisa struggle with her fertility issues, which is what made the final moment feel like such a punch to the gut. Lisa’s season epitaph revealed that she and Lenny lost their surrogate, continuing their struggle. Here’s hoping Season 4 arrives with better news for these two.
Joanna Krupa: So, Joanna and Romain made it official. Their vows were sweet (but the less said about the dresses, the better) and Joanna’s sister Marta even made peace with her new husband. Between that and her detente with Adriana, Joanna’s looking pretty drama-free heading into the reunion specials. Of course, that won’t last. There’s always an incendiary blog post or tweet to be bitter over.
Lea Black: Lastly, there’s Lea. What’s there to say about Lea? Throughout her three seasons on the show, Ms. Black has made her fair share of enemies, thanks to her caustic and, at times, off-putting ways. But no rift was more surprising than the one with her BFF Adriana. Lea spun it so that her anger at Adriana was based on the whole secret marriage brouhaha, but it was so clearly about her bruised ego after last season’s reunion. Adriana was persona non grata to her because she didn’t blindly defend Lea against Ana and Marysol’s (mostly true) attack.
Certainly, Adriana didn’t spend the season an innocent party, but her apology to Lea, and her willingness to try and rebuild, seemed sincere — which is what makes Lea’s actions in that spa scene on the day of the wedding feel so ice cold. After telling Adriana she wanted to try to make things better, Lea was so transparently bothered by the peace between her former friend and her new compatriot, Joanna, that she did an about face and shut Adriana out. Watching Adrianna cry and basically beg, to no avail, felt uncomfortably real and sad.
Lea always presents herself as the Wife above it all, too mature and put together for these ladies’ nonsense. But in this instance, she made it clear that she’s possibly the most childish one of all. Not a good look, Lea.
– Joanna and Romain haven’t slept together again since their wedding night? One: What the what? Two: Why share that?
– Season 2 castoff Karent Sierra got in her final cameo at Joanna’s wedding. Thankfully it didn’t come with a soundbite.
– Lea’s considering running for mayor of Miami on “the platform of cleaning the streets of its trash.” HAHAHAHAHA. Maybe she can wrangle Flo Rida or John Rich to sing her campaign anthem.
– Can Marysol Patton return full-time for Season 4, should there be a Season 4? There wasn’t nearly enough Mama Elsa this go-round. Here’s hoping Elsa’s healthy enough for some cameos next year.
– So, who won Season 3’s War of the Weddings? Adriana’s was wildly insane, what with the required costume change and the inexcusable delays, but Joanna’s felt odd, taking place midday in San Diego’s unforgiving summer heat. We’ll leave it up to you to name a victor down in the comments.