Our Intrepid Heroes make their supposed “Sacred Annual Pilgrimage” to Las Vegas together, but Dashing El Deano somehow ends up all by his lonesome, chatting up grad-student strippers, when Darling Sammy decides to go walkabout out in the desert for what I’m assuming are overbearingly pretentious reasons. Even worse — much, much worse, as it turns out — when Darling Sammy finally does resurface, it’s as the grinning groom to none other than Becky The Wincesting Fangirl, whom you’ll likely recall from such far-better episodes as this one and that one. Dean, naturally, is shocked and appalled by this turn of events, and he follows Sam and his new sister-in-law back to her home in Pike Creek, Delaware, where it becomes readily apparent — to the audience, at least — that Becky’s snagged Sam through the help of some sort of “love elixir” provided by a sassy event planner and supposed Wiccan named Guy.
Meanwhile, as Dean learns, several members of the local community have been experiencing extraordinary runs of luck, only to end up mangled and beaten and butchered to death mere days after fortune seemed to have smiled upon them. Not recognizing the obvious connection between the victims’ radically altered pre-death circumstances and Becky’s incredibly unlikely marriage to his brother because he’s an idiot, and with a drugged-up Sam playing house with the bat**** fangirl, Dean has little choice but to call Bobby for an assist. Unfortunately, Bobby’s busy chasing monsters in the Pacific Northwest, so he recommends Dean hook up with a hunter we’ve never seen before, played by an utterly pointless and subsequently battered DJ Qualls. Together, they eventually realize that Becky’s sassy gay friend is actually a Sassy Crossroads Demon who’s been exploiting a loophole in the standard ten-year contract to collect the lucky locals’ souls long before their various payments are actually meant to come due.
And in the end, Crowley materializes to drag his errant underling back to Hell for round after vicious round of torture — something about Hell having greater integrity than Lehman Brothers, an integrity Sassy Guy threatened to destroy with his dodgy deals — and with Sam thus so restored to his pre-elixir sanity, he divorces Bat**** Becky with a quickness, and Our Intrepid Heroes motor on off towards their next adventure. Words cannot begin to describe how truly awful it all was.