On “Supernatural”: When news of a suspicious rash of suicides reaches him, Secretly Evil Sammy decides that This Is Their Kind Of Thing, and he drags Deeply Dubious El Deano down to Springfield, where it soon becomes clear someone made the stupid mistake of summoning Veritas, the ancient goddess of truth. Now whenever anybody in the town wishes for a little honesty in their lives, they immediately get bombarded with the entirely candid opinions of family, friends, coworkers, and complete strangers to the point where the unfortunate recipients of these unvarnished sentiments have little choice but to off themselves, after which their corpses mysteriously vanish from the city’s morgue.
Our Intrepid Heroes eventually realize that Veritas is masquerading as local investigative journalist Ashley Frank, and when they break into her house to slaughter The Goddess, they find out what’s been happening to all those missing bodies: Veritas has a taste for human flesh, so her basement looks like Ed Gein’s rec room. The Goddess herself soon enough deigns to make an appearance and — after she smacks them around for a bit, natch — the boys finally manage to impale her with a poker and a couple of hunting knives.
Of course, all of the above is only half the story, because what would an episode of “Supernatural” be without Matters Of Great Wangsty Import? After last week’s wacky vampiric hijinks, Dreary El Deano’s deeply distrustful of Secretly Evil Sammy, so when he himself gets infected with Veritas’s truth mojo, he immediately puts Secretly Evil Sammy on the spot by demanding an explanation for Secretly Evil Sammy’s near-fatal inaction outside The Black Rose. Secretly Evil Sammy claims he froze with fear at the most inopportune of moments, but this is eventually revealed to be a filthy LIE when Veritas herself realizes her mojo has no effect on Secretly Evil Sammy, because Secretly Evil Sammy is “not human.” DUN! And in the end, Openly Evil Sammy admits he did, indeed, Come Back Wrong For The Thirty-Eighth Or Thirty-Ninth Time Since This Godforsaken Series Began, so Deeply Depressed El Deano smacks the pretty clean off Openly Evil Sammy’s face. Oh, and Bendy Lisa told Dean to go blow because she can’t handle his psychotic ass. And then Veritas got Dean to admit he’s dead inside. Why doesn’t he just end it all, already, and put us out of his misery?
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