Who needs PSAs when you have “Teen Mom”? MTV’s reality show is an ongoing public awareness campaign about teen pregnancy and other social issues.
Sadly, this week’s installment, “The Next Step,” called attention (again) to domestic violence. Butch, deadbeat dad of affianced stepsiblings Tyler and Catelynn, returned to prison after viciously attacking his wife (and their mom), April.
“Me and your dad got in a fight and he’s in jail,” April bluntly tells Tyler — the most mature member of this troubled family — adding that she “feels bad” because they violated their no-contact order by seeing each other. Unfortunately, the couple, who share a history of drug and alcohol abuse, were both drinking, and as April recounts in another wild understatement, “We got to arguing and one thing led to another.”
“Another” included Butch shoving his wife to the floor and trying to strangle her with a towel. “There’s holes in the bathroom wall, you know, from my head,” she tells Catelynn and Tyler, which the MTV cameras captured, along with the broken toilet, jarred loose during their brutal fight.
Tyler, wiser and more world-weary than any teen should be, showed his stepmom a recent text from his dad: “I do believe I love cocaine more than anything or anyone,” wrote Butch. (Shame on us for being so dazzled by Butch’s colorful personality and magnificent mullet.)
Tyler and Catelynn console themselves by thinking of their daughter, Carly, whom they gave up for adoption. “Our innocence and childhood were stolen, [but] Carly is at home in her bed…she’s going to have such good memories of her childhood.”
“Teen Mom’s” original domestic abuser, Amber Portwood, is back to her old tricks, screaming profanities at off-again “fatass” boyfriend Gary over their daughter’s head. Although she isn’t spending much time with baby Leah, Amber is at least working toward a high school diploma — and it won’t be long before she can take advantage of her prison’s GED program.
Meanwhile, deep in the heart of Florida, Farrah is celebrating her first day at college with her new boyfriend. Daniel is from Texas; ergo, Farrah must make sure that both she and her daughter become skilled equestrians and eat a lot of barbecue. Won’t Farrah be in for a surprise when she discovers that darling Daniel’s hometown of Austin has more hipsters than horseshoes? At least her mom, Debra, is coming back to Florida to babysit Sophia while the new couple strap on their spurs and head to the Wild West. Yee-haw!
Maci and her boyfriend Kyle are also celebrating a milestone: They’ve decided to buy a house together. Their realtor grossly overestimates the reality TV star’s salary, however, first showing the young couple a five-bedroom, 3,500-square-feet house listed at $379,000. To quote 2-year-old Bentley (quoting his mom): “Oh hell no!”
In fact, Maci’s credit score doesn’t even qualify her to co-sign on the loan with Kyle. “You’re out of luck if you break up,” Maci’s mom warns — to which we say, whaaa? Kyle will be the one stuck paying the mortgage when the two (spoiler alert!) part ways. Fortunately, after a real-estate reality check (ba-dum-bum — we’re here all week, folks!), Kim finds a more appropriate home: a $79,000, three-bedroom, two-bath foreclosure with a huge yard. Honestly, if Kyle and Maci hadn’t snapped it up, we would’ve made the $70,000 offer ourselves.
Call us sentimental fools, but we can’t wait for the day Tyler carried Catelynn across the threshold of their very own dream house.