Money Magazine just released its 2010 list of the best places to live in America. Spoiler alert: they’re a total snooze.
We’re firm believers that TV is more interesting than real life, so we’ve rounded up the best (and worst) tube towns to put down roots. Because who would ever choose the Eden Prairie, Minnesota, Starbucks over Luke’s Diner?
1. Stars Hollow, CT (“Gilmore Girls“)
There’s a place where time stands still, but the cultural references are still fresh. Everyone knows everyone in Stars Hollow, and with properties so undervalued, consider it a wise real estate investment.
2. Eureka (“Eureka“)
Hotbed of sci-fi danger or experiment in Utopian society? The incorporated, genius-filled town of Eureka is plagued by danger, but it’s heady populace and attractive Sheriff Jack also make it most likely to survive war, the apocalypse or any outbreak of homeliness.
3. Everwood, CO (“Everwood“)
City-dwellers rarely have an easy time acclimating to rural living. Everwood allows for the easiest possible transition. Aesthetically, it’s about as charming as Stars Hollow, but the not-quite-as-whimsical townsfolk pull its ranking down.
4. Gulf Haven, FL (“Cougar Town“)
This one’s for all the mature single ladies. Getting back into the dating pool can be hard on a recent divorcee. Not in Gulf Haven. Just as soon as you’re back in the market, young hotties line up to admire your beauty and experience. And when you get bored with them, there’s always your handsome, age-appropriate neighbor.
5. Cicely, AK (“Northern Exposure“)
It’s cold, there’s a moose problem and townspeople frequently lobby for salary increases (even when ratings are down!), but the small-town charm of Cicely almost makes you want to move to Alaska — or at least summer there. Downside? You’d have to deal with a meddlesome ex-governor’s exploitative reality TV crew.
1. Sunnydale, CA (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer“)
For seven seasons, Buffy fought everything her little Hellmouth-situated home could spit at her. Until it eventually became so consumed with evil, it literally tried to swallow her up, imploding on itself in the process. Now it’s a giant hole and an equally undesirable place to live.
2. Mystic Falls, VA (“The Vampire Diaries“)
Who says you can’t go home? Not vampires. If you live in a town that was historically plagued by the supernatural, chances are they’ll come back right around the time you’re in high school. So try to curb your excitement over pale, handsome transfer students.
3. Bon Temps, LA (“True Blood“)
Sure, the mortality rate is increasing on a daily basis, but there’s a reason Bon Temps ranks least horribly in our trio of vamp towns. Aside from all of the processions, murders and kidnappings, the locals are still the most sexually active of any other TV burgh. You take the good with the bad.
4. Pawnee, IN (“Parks & Recreation“)
The wheels of democracy spin smoothly throughout most of the United States, but representative government takes a big hit in Pawnee, Indiana. Even before budget cuts prompted the shuttering of the city government, endless red tape and community meetings overflowing with loonies made it impossible to get anything done — except annulling gay penguin marriages.
5. Caprica City (“Caprica“)
The day-to-day in the Caprican capitol isn’t a total grind. Everyone dresses like “Mad Men” extras and whenever they’re bored, virtual reality orgies are just a click away. But being the prequel to “Battlestar Galactica” and all, we already know a bloody genocide awaits its denizens and their offspring in just a few decades.
Where would you move first? Where would you move last? Sound off in the best and worst town polls.
Photo credits: Warner Brothers, NBC