There was a shocking moment on “The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose” reunion special when Nick Viall asked Andi Dorfman how she could have made love with him on the overnight dates if she wasn’t in love with him at the time.
It immediately sent viewers into an uproar on Twitter, but they were firmly divided into two camps — one that thinks Nick makes a great point (and are glad somebody finally acknowledged this aspect of the show) and one that thought Nick was completely out of line and disrespectful for bringing it up to Andi on live TV.
My initial reaction was actually both. While Nick is well within his right to ask that question of her if their intimate night meant to much to him and he now feels perhaps confused or betrayed or used, it maybe was not the time or the place to do it.
Of course, as Nick points out in his final “Bachelorette” interview with the press, he could have had that conversation in private if Andi had agreed to see him before the “After the Final Rose” reunion.
Now a day removed from the reunion, another thought has popped into my head — would this even be an issue with viewers if the genders were reversed?
Imagine if this was a season ago and it was Andi herself (or, more likely considering how the season played out, Clare Crawley) asking Juan Pablo Galavis how he could sleep with her if he never loved her. We’ll never know for sure, but I’d be willing to bet that the majority of the reactions would be along the lines of, “You go, girl!”
The double standard regarding sex for men and sex for women is nothing new, but it really stood out to me in this instance because so many people were shocked and appalled that Nick would reveal on national TV that he and Andi had sex.
But if a bachelorette had called out “The Bachelor” for the same behavior, would anyone have been appalled or shocked? Would anyone have called that “Bachelor” slutty for sleeping with more than one person on the fantasy suite dates? Would anyone have said that the bachelorette in question was out of line for calling him out?
Somehow I don’t think so.
Perhaps instead of focusing on the fact that “bad guy” Nick just “ruined” Andi’s perceived virtue by revealing that they slept together, maybe the point of the interaction is that Andi cavalierly played with Nick’s heart by engaging in behavior that clearly meant more to him than it did to her.
I’m not slut-shaming Andi for sleeping with two different guys on “The Bachelorette.” As long as nobody gets hurt, I say do your thing. But in this case, someone did get hurt and when that person expressed how much Andi’s actions hurt him, suddenly he’s the bad guy for calling her out — when a female in that position would have probably been lauded for standing up for herself.