community blacklist house of cards feb 23 march 1 best lines 'The Blacklist,' 'House of Cards' and more of TV's best lines from the week of Feb. 23 March 1The Olympics are over and scripted TV is back, which means juicy quotes from shows like “The Blacklist” and “Scandal,” which have taken a backseat to all the winter sports we’ve been watching for the past month. Read on for more of TV’s best lines from the week of Feb. 23 to March 1:

‘Broad City’
Ilana, after looking at the Facebook profile of the guy who just friended Abbi: “He likes ‘Roseanne’?! This — this is your next sexual partner.”

‘Hannibal’

Hannibal: “I never feel guilty about eating anything.”

Hannibal: “It’s rare that I cook a meatless meal.”

Will, to Hannibal: “I’m going to remember, and when I do, there will be a reckoning.”

‘Shameless’

Fiona, after telling Lip she doesn’t want to accept a plea deal after their baby brother ingested her cocaine: “I can’t go back to jail.”
Lip: “Of course this is all about you.”
Fiona: Yes, this is about me. Okay, cause it’s never about me and I’m finally making it about me!”
Lip: “So what, I’m supposed to drop out of school while you do five years?!”
Fiona: “I’m not guilty!”
Lip: “Liam almost died! And that was you! All f***ing you. Your coke, your boyfriend, your f***cked up life. Not mine! Alright?”


‘Community’

Ian Duncan: “Have you met the women that do like me, Jeff? Neither have I, but trust me — they’re bad people.”

Ian Duncan: “She’s everything I love about America: bold, opinionated, just past her peak and starting to realize that she has to settle for less.”

Abed: “You’re not the Marco Polo of bullying. You’re just another tourist taking a picture of a big wall.”

Annie: “Chang, you cannot be on the committee if you’re going to be actively insane.”


‘Arrow’

Oliver: “When you come back from the dead, you get a party.”

Felicity: “I’ve always wanted to say I’ve taken a bullet for someone and now I have. So I really should be thanking you.”


‘New Girl’

Schmidt: “Nobody deals with crazy girls better than I do. Crazy girls are kinda’ my ‘Hurt Locker.'”


‘House of Cards’

Frank: “Do not mistake any history you have shared for the slightest understanding of what our marriage is. Or how insignificant you are in comparison.”

Evelyn: “Loyalty’s not her thing.”

Frank: “A slice of pie is good for the soul.”

Frank: “We had heat like that back in Gaffney, but we didn’t know what air conditioning was, so we just accepted as fact that summer was meant to be miserable.”


‘Psych’

Shawn: “Holy cow. The mobster’s moll was having an affair with the cocoa crooner.”

Lassiter: “You’ve never left me out there, not for one day. … I never would’ve gotten here without you. You are so much more than a partner.”

‘Pretty Little Liars’

Hanna: “Aria, if it were me, I would’ve burned this whole place down.”


‘Scandal’

Eli Pope: “Run, Olivia, run. Because mark my words: Fitzgerald Grant is not going to make it to the end of his term.”

Sally Langston, losing her mind: “I did not murder my husband, Leo. The devil murdered my husband when he snuck up inside me.”

James: “My husband’s a monster, David … And he thinks he doesn’t have a weakness. But he does: Me.”

Olivia to Jake, new head of B613: “Got a night off from ruling the Underworld?”


‘The Big Bang Theory’

Amy to Sheldon: “Hey, you were funny on purpose. Good job!”

Leonard: “Sheldon, you didn’t have a personality. You just had some shows you liked.”

Leonard on Sheldon: “Don’t anthropomorphize him. He’s got big eyes, but his feelings are not like ours.”


‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’

Peralta: “All I have are my grandma’s old klezmer records and I still haven’t quite figured out how to sync up the beats, but it’s not bad, right?”
Gina: “It’s awful. It sounds like Joy Behar falling down some stairs.”


‘Castle’

Castle: “Justin Marquette is a member of the Brewster Theatre Company and is currently appearing in their off-off-off-Broadway of Chekov’s ‘Platonoff.’ That’s a lot of ‘offs.'”

Castle: “11 seconds to a confession. That’s got to be your personal best.”

Beckett: “If I have to hear that confession one more time, I’m gonna shoot somebody.”


‘Teen Wolf’

Oliver: “You would be surprised how many Jesuses we get.”

Stiles: “You’re a little weird. She’s a lot weird.”

Stiles: “OK then. Missed our talks. Thanks for the illicit drugs!”

Scott: “Give me the finger … You know what I mean!”


‘Downton Abbey’

Edith: “I sometimes think we should make more scenes, about things that really matter to us.”

Ethan: “Are you excited?”
Daisy: “I’m never excited.”


‘The Blacklist’

Red: “I had a little talk with Rasil. We had a few laughs, compared notes about you. He told me all about that delightful thing you do with a trouser belt, which was a bit hurtful since I was pretty sure it was our thing.”


‘Archer’

Pam: “How hot am I now? Lemme answer that for you: As balls.”

‘How I Met Your Mother’

Robin: “I think my fiancee peed himself a little. [Pause] Awww, tomorrow I’ll be able to say my husband peed himself a little.”
 

Barney: “You did Weekend at Barney’s and it worked? God, today’s going to be all downhill from here.”
Robin: “That’s what the bride wants to hear.”
Barney: “No, that’s not what I meant. I just mean, Weekend at Barney’s is a thousand times more amazing than my wedding ever could be.”


‘The Walking Dead’

Abraham: “Tell me how in the holy Hell did you possibly kill this truck?”
Eugene: “A fully amped up state and an ignorance of rapid firing weapons.”
 

Eugene: “Trust me. I’m smarter than you.”