When the series famously called it quits in 2010, fans were shocked by the last few minutes, during which it was revealed that stars Kristen Cavallari and Brody Jenner were on a studio backlot, winking at the very clear fact that much about this “reality show” wasn’t real at all.
So, how did things wrap up this time around? True to form, Cavallari still chose to move to Europe (Yes, the entire continent. What? She’d pick a country/city by the time she landed at Europe Central Airport. That’s a thing, right?) and still had her goodbye with Jenner in which audiences who’d long stopped caring since the departure of original star Lauren Conrad attempted to muster an ounce of interest. And then things got funky.
As Cavallari’s town car drove down the street, it began to rain. Only this wasn’t any normal rain. As the torrential downpour, uncommon in the preternaturally sunny “Hills,” continued, the earth beneath Cavallari’s car began to tremble before erupting. It was the big one. With most of L.A. being swallowed whole by the earth below, we watched as Jenner, Cavallari, Stephanie Pratt and Lo Bosworth all fell, one by one, into the wretched abyss below. Only Audrina Patridge was spared — she’d just moved to the beach, after all.
As Los Angeles gave way to a gaping hellsmouth, a monster rose from the depths, heretofore known as Spiedi. Breathing fire and sporting a flesh-colored beard, Spiedi ascended to its now-earthly throne. It would seem that, though absent from the finale entirely, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got the last laugh, after all.
Of course, I’m just kidding. Nothing that freaking awesome happened. You want the truth? Here it is:
After Cavallari’s car drove away, there was no winking nod to a soundstage. Rather, the cameras followed Jenner home to an apartment where he was apparently living with the new girlfriend who drove Cavallari to the open arms of Europe. A blonde woman sits on the couch, back to the camera. As Jenner walks in, the girl turns and reveals herself to be none other than … LC!
“Hey. Where have you been?” she says to Jenner.
“Just saying good-bye to a friend,” he replies.
“It’s hard saying good-bye,” she tosses back, before cracking a grin.
And scene. Cue the Natasha Bedingfield.
What did you think of the alternate ending to “The Hills”? Worth the hype?