Two years ago, Nicole Scherzinger revealed that she struggled with bulimia for eight years, and now she’s finally opening up about why she decided to get help.
In the August issue of U.K.’s Cosmopolitan magazine, the former “X Factor” judge and Pussycat Dolls member looked back on the years she kept her eating disorder a secret.
“It is such a horrible, paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me,” Scherzinger says. “I didn’t think anyone knew in my group or in my family because I hid it that well, I was so ashamed. I knew it wasn’t normal or healthy because I was hurting myself through this cycle of disordered eating. It was my drug, my addiction. It’s an endless vicious cycle.”
So what prompted the singer to finally seek out help? “I had started losing my voice, I couldn’t sing at shows, and then I remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France,” Scherzinger says. “I thought, ‘I’m going to lose everything I love if I don’t love myself.'”
Now that she’s been able to get help, Scherzinger believes that because of her struggle with bulimia, she is able to empathize with others more.
“That’s why I can empathize so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren’t nice to themselves,” Scherzinger says. “It robs you of living your life. But you can recover and you can get rid of it forever. I did it and that’s why it’s so important for me to share my story. I felt so alone … but I made myself so alone. You hide it from the world, you isolate yourself. But you can beat it — do not give up because you’re so special and you’re meant for such great things.”