On Nov. 2, channel surfing through primetime TV will involve navigating an overwhelming number of election results broadcasts.
It’s not that we’re not interested in electoral process — we voted! — we’re just understandably fatigued by this particularly catty midterm.
So unless Christine O’Donnell pulls off the unlikely and does an on-air victory broom ride while sacrificing a live animal, here’s what we’ll be watching instead:
8 p.m. ET: “Dancing With the Stars: Results Show” (ABC)
Government officials aren’t the only ones getting our votes this week. “DWTS” narrows the Season 11 competition down to five in the second part of the 200th episode spectacular, and pretty much anyone could go home. In addition to a few more anniversary surprises, we’ll also get the “Skating With the Stars” casting announcement and a performance by Taylor Swift.
9 p.m. ET: “Life Unexpected” (The CW)
Nothing says “uninterested in the political process” quite like the CW, so head on over for a new episode of the network’s woefully under-watched “Life Unexpected.” This new episode finds the highly unlikely scenario of Baze, Cate and Ryan all chaperoning Lux’s school camping trip together, where she will likely hook-up with her petit teacher. Scandal!
10 p.m. ET: “Kathy Griffin: Whores on Crutches” (Bravo)
How Kathy Griffin ended up with a story about ladies of the night with sprained ankles completely escapes us, but we will likely enjoy finding out. The comedian’s latest Bravo stand-up special, filmed at the fittingly D-List Pechanga Resort & Casino in Temecula, California, finds Griffin taking aim at Bristol Palin, Paris Hilton, Tiger Woods and, obviously, Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
11 p.m. ET: “Chelsea Lately” (E!)
You know which late night talk show host won’t be focusing much on the election? Our girl Chelsea Handler. Topics on the panel will likely be limited to Demi Lavato and Charlie Sheen, so you can put your brain to bed early.
11:30 p.m. ET: “I’m Pregnant And…” (Discovery Health)
Color us embarrassed, but we’re just now finding out about Discovery Health’s “I’m Pregnant And…” series. It combines all the facets of basic cable docu-dramas, showing people who are expecting and also hoarders, drug-dealers and possibly carrying dwarfs. Tonight? A third generation nudist.
God bless America.
Photo credit: Bravo