Previously on: Stephanie McMahon went to jail. She went directly to jail. She did not pass go and she did not collect $200. Instead of bailing her out, Triple H took the time to announce Brock Lesnar would face John Cena at “SummerSlam” for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
The big news: John Cena was back from a movie shoot to kick off “WWE Raw” and answer Lesnar’s challenge. He knows Brock is going to beat him up but he’s going to give it all he’s got. That brings out Paul Heyman, who reminds him that The Undertaker gave Brock all he had at “Wrestlemania.” Of course, you know how well that went.
Cesaro eventually joined the fun. He’s no longer a Paul Heyman guy, but the two of them are still friends. He insulted Cena’s wrestling skills, or lack thereof, and challenged him to a match. As should be expected of athletes their caliber, Cena and Cesaro had a really strong match that ended with an Attitude Adjustment off the second rope, giving the champ a win.
As for The Authority’s grand plan being Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton wasn’t too happy. Triple H informed him that as long as Roman Reigns was still standing, he would not get a title shot. That will end up being a “SummerSlam” match then.
First, Reigns had a match with Kane. That never got started though, as Orton attacked him before the bout started. Kane took Reigns out with a chokeslam and walked away, leaving him for Orton to inflict pain on. It ended with two RKOs onto the announce table.
After mouthing off to The Authority, Chris Jericho was booked against Seth Rollins. The two of them has an incredible back-and-forth match. That is, until The Wyatt Family showed up to ruin everything. With Wyatt and Jericho set to go one more time at “SummerSlam,” Bray and his flunkies tore Y2J apart. It remains to be seen if their match will include some sort of stipulation.
In the main event slot, Stephanie confronted Brie Bella, after she was arrested last week. Naturally, Stephanie plays the victim card. She complains that WWE executives look at her as a criminal and her daughters don’t understand why mommy went to jail.
Enter Brie, who has zero sympathy. Stephanie asks her to drop the charges, saying she doesn’t deserve it. The Bella twin disagrees. Brie says she’ll drop the charges if Stephanie agrees to her demands. She wants her job back, which is silly since she quit in the first place. Brie also wants to fight Stephanie at “SummerSlam.”
In the end, Stephanie has no choice but to agree. In return, she won’t go to court. Stephanie pretends to cry, but instead she slaps Brie across the face says says, “I’m going to make you my b****.” From there, the fight is on. It’s not often you see a pull-apart brawl among the female wrestlers, but it’s an intriguing change. Their match at “SummerSlam” won’t be technically sound, but it should end up being an entertaining spectacle.
Odds and ends:
- Chris Jericho dusted off his old Stephanie McMahon insults, which are still awesome.
- Damien Sandow was an astronaut this week. His character still makes no sense.
- Adam Rose continues to have the coolest entrance in WWE.
- The winning streak of Bo Dallas is dead. He celebrated by turning heel and beating down R-Truth.
- Rusev vs. Jack Swagger is building to the point where it should be a fun match.
- Layla and Summer Rae acted as valets for Diego. If you don’t know who that is, he’s one of Los Matadores.
- Who knows what Stardust and Goldust are doing? Regardless, they’re the best.
- Spotted during the Stephanie-Brie brawl: Finlay, Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble.
- John Cena beat Cesaro
- The Usos and Dolph Ziggler beat Rybaxel and The Miz
- R-Truth beat Bo Dallas
- Adam Rose beat Damien Sandow
- Diego beat Fandango
- Natalya and Naomi beat Cameron and Alicia Fox
- Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins ended in a no contest